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Accelerated Evolution

MY OWN INTERPRETIVE MONOLOGUES


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SPOCK:

OOOOH LOOK AT ME I'M MISTER MOTHA-FUCKING SPOCK WOOOOO WOOO VULCAN NERVE PINCH ON YOUR ILLOGICAL ASS, WHORESLUTBITCH. YEA CUZ I BE SPOCK, YO. YO YO YO!!!!! I'M MADE OF MOTHERFUCKING CANDY-CANES AND HAVE AN INTEREST IN REUNIFICATION WITH THE ROMULANS ALSO: I DIED BUT GOT RESSURECTED CUZZ I AM SPOCK THE SPOCK SPOCK SPOCK SPOCKETY-SPOCK-SPOCK

WILLIAM THOMAS RIKER:

OOOOH LOOK AT ME I'M MOTHAFUCKING WILLIAM T RIKER THE T IS FOR THOMAS EVEN THO I DONT LIKE THAT EXCEPT FOR THE TRANSPORTER CLONE OF ME WHO DOES MOTHAFUCKING LIKE IT SLUTBITCHWHORESLUTBITCH AND I'M LIKE YOYOYOY CAPTAIN YOU CAN'T GO ON THIS AWAY MISSION CUZ I BE THE FIRST OFFICA BITCHES RIKER RIKER YOYOYOYO I HAD A THIANG WITH DEANNNNA TROY YEAAAA SHE BE AN EMPATH YOYOYOYO YEAHHH I"VE DONE IT WITH AN EMPATH BITCHESSSSS ALSO THERE WAS ONE TIME WHEN I DIDN"T HAVE A BEARD BUT THEN I DID OH SNAP YEAHHH RIKERRR IS MY NAME I DIDN"T GET ALON WITH MY DAD UNTIL WE FOUGHT KUNG-FU STYLE OH YEAAAH CUT THAT BITCH UP GOOD WITH MY LOLLYPOP EYESSSS HAHAHA RIKER BITCHES RIKER RIRKERRRE AND THEN I PLAYED MY TROMBONEEE BUT I SUXXORZ LOL CUZ I"M DA RIKER MANNNN I"VE GOT A BEARD SO THAT THE HAIR ON MY FACE MAKES UP FOR THE LACK OF IT ON PICARD"S HEAD ALSO I PLAY POKER AND IZ GETINNNNN THE BLING BLING FROM COMMANDER DATA WHOSE ALL LIKE BEEP BEEP BUT I"M LIKE YEAHHHH I"M RIKER BITCHES

WORF:

RARAR I BE THE WORF MAN BITCHES YEAH I"m ALL LIK WORF SON OF MOG MOTHAFUCKA AND THEN THERE BE SNAKES ON DIS WARP NACELLE AND I DON WAN NO MOTHAFUCKING SNAKES ON MY MOTHA FUCKIN WARP NACELLE RAWWWRG MOTHAFUCKIN SON OF MOG AND THEN DURASS WAS ALL LIKE IN MY FACE BUT THEN I CUT DAT BITCH CUZ HE KILLED MAH KLINGON HUNNY HELLZ YEAH BUT THEN GALRON WAS ALL LIKE I BE LEADE NOW AND I WUZ LIKE WHATEVA YOU BUT FUCKING YEAHHH AND I WAS LIKE UNNHUHH AND THEN MY SON ALEXANDER WAS ALL LIKE DAD YOU SO MOTHA FUCKING AWESOME AND MY ADOPTED PARENTS ARE FUCKING RUSSIANS YEAHHHH RUSSIANS I'Z A SOVIET KLINGON MOTHAFUCKA AND I SAW KAHLESS THE UNFORGETTABLE IN DA CAVE WITH HIS GUMMY BEAR HANDS AND JAWBREAKER EYESS AND HE GAVE ME THE SACRED SNICKERSBAR BUT THEN I WAS LIKE IZ GONNA BE A FEDERATION MOTHAFUCKER AND THEN TASHA YARR WAS ALL LIKE AKKKK AND I BECAME DA MANNNN AND LOCKED ON PHASES GOT ALL THEM MUTHAFUCKING SNAEKS OFF MY WARP NACELLE IF YOU WERE ANY SNAKE ON MY FUCKING NACELLE I"D MOTHER FUCKING KILL YOU ASS WHERE YOU STAND BUT YOU AIN"T SO I"M GONNA HAVE TO KILL YO ASS WITH MY KLINGON DAGGER CUZ I TEACHER OF MARTIAL ARTS HOLODECK CLASSES YEAHHHHHHH

DR. CRUSHER:

LOOK AT ME MOTHA FUCKER I IS THE DOCTOR WHO CRUSHES MOTHAFUCKING PEOPLE BITCHES RAWRGGG I CRUSH THEM FUCKERS GOOOD LIKE A HAMMER RAWRG I ONE TIME CRUSHED MY SON WEASLEY WHO WAS A LITTLE PRICK SO I KILLED HIM WITH FUCKING PHASERS AND THEN PICARD WAS ALL LIKE "I WANT YOU" BUT I WAS LIKE FUCKING TOO COOL FOR DAT SHIT AND HE WAS LIKE YOOYOYOYO AND I WUZ LIKE IM A FUCKING DOCTOR AND I"M GONNA KILL YOU MY MAIDEN NAME IS FUCKING HOWARD AND MY HUSBAND IS NAMED JACK DEAD JACK IS MORE LIKE IT CUZ HE DEAD FUCKING BASTARD AND I"VE GOT JELLY BEANS IN THE MORGUE AND THEN I"M FUCKING TEARING OFF THE EVIL ALIEN"S HEAD WITH A MEDICAL TRICORDER YEAHHH I"M A DOCTOR NOT A BAKER CUZ THE ONLY THING I BAKE IS DEAD PEOPLE YEAHHHHH AND I ONE TIME GOT POSSESSED ON PLANTET SCOTTLAND BUT THEN I PHASERED THAT GHOST"S ASS EVEN THO HE MADE ME CUM REAL GOOD BEcAUSE HE WAS EVILLLL YEAHHHH EVILL BUT I"M BEVERLEY MOTHERFUCKING CRUSHER MY HUSBAND JACK IS DEAD AND I"M A FUCKINGAWESOME DOCTOR WHO KILLS BAD GUYS N' SHIT AND I WAS HEAD OF STAR FLEET MEDICAL FOR A YEAR BUT FOR THAT YEAR EVERYBODY EVEN THAT PULASKI BITCH KEPT ASKING WHEREE IS THAT CRUSHER?!?! I CNA"T FLY THROO SPACE WITHOUT CRUSHER SO I CAME BACK AND BITCHSLAPPED PICARD AND WAS KING OF SPACE

More to come later :P

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Attention I have a new one.

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