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Accelerated Evolution

A Scientific Approach to Myspace’s Failure

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Using the power of Google searches, I hope to prove why Myspace.com is a failure of humanity. I’m not debating whether Myspace offers a good system or service, I’m only lamenting the place it has become thanks to its user base. There are good and bad uses for social networking websites. Most are useless and waste more time without contributing to the social good. Myspace is the worst. A few things to note before we begin:

* These highly scientific searches were conducted with Google using the query trigger [site:myspace.com] input before each search. The words you see are exactly what I put into Google on April 7th, 2006. Though these numbers may seem large at times, keep in mind that of the whole body of profiles (72,200,0001) they represent a small percentage of total people.

* Yes, MySpace is a great place for bands. I’ll get to that.

* Some people are capable of making good profiles, pages and blog posts. But I wish there were more.

It all started when I wanted to find a reason why the core of my Internet-saturated being hates Myspace. For fun one day, I searched within Myspace’s profiles for the following phrases:

* 9620: "I’m going to kill myself"

* 72,000: "I’m rick James Bitch"

* 3,100,000: wierd

* Man! This is fun, thought I.

This got me started on a torturous hour of minimally scientific research to discover exactly why Myspace is for the most part a heaping pile of hot garbage. I started writing.

I must disclose that I am a recent member, but I can’t stand navigating beyond my own profile’s simplicity for fear of contracting an epileptic seizure. My delicate retinas cannot survive the persistant attacks from animated images created by eight year olds who probably blink every 10 nanoseconds. This intensive research was conducted on an aging laptop with a faded LCD screen from the safe distance of 10 feet with thick billowing smoke between me and the faint rectangular object in the distance.

I lumped my findings into digestible headings:

More... http://moneydick.com/wordpress/2006/04/23/...nce-of-myspace/

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