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The Social Spectrum

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Alright, so I just got back from a long drive with my cousin talking about how much different our lives were and yet how both of us were exactly the same in many ways in the social situations that we desired.

On my side, I hang out with a heavily diversified crowd that comes from literally every type of background you can think of, alot of them have messed up home lives and have become some sort of social deviant. My best friend is a lesbian, another friend is gay (talking about being a type of social deviant here, not in a negative connotation), one is a kid who dropped out of high school and doesn't have a G.E.D., another is an alchoholic, one is straight one day and bi the next, and one does a decent amount of acid but still incredibly intelligent.

These are the core group of people that I spend time with, and it's not really because I seeked these people out and started hanging out with them, but more or less because my core group of friends went their seperate ways across the country while I stayed for state college. I'm constantly thrown into situations where I don't feel comfortable, I'm constantly around drugs when I am with them, and everyone finds the need to drink whether they are going to drive or not. A good amount of them don't really spark my mind with anything intelligent, and sort of live their life in the moment without any regard for what will become of it tommorrow.

Most of them find that they need to be at "The club" to have any type of fun, and if you're not into that, then you are just lame.

Now, my cousin, who lives a 10 minute drive away from the city in a high-class neighborhood, hangs out with people that like to just screw around at home doing whatever. They'll randomly hop in a car and get lost somewhere in NJ and eventually find their way home, his girlfriend is ten flavors of awesome where she actually talks to the people with her and not just my cousin exclusively.

THis is more or less the situation that I want to be in, but I just found out today that this is what he was doing, and I was under the impression that he didn't do anything like that. I found out that he was straight edge and that he actually had a head on his shoulders and wasn't wasting his life away.

The reason I write this is because I was wondering if anyone has been in this type of situation, where they were stuck with the wrong group because they couldn't find anything else to gravitate to.

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I had my group of friends in high school and we kept to ourselves. Our HS was very snobby and most of the kids' idea of fun was parking in the teacher's lot, obsessive shopping and getting wasted on the weekends.

Now (for reasons I can't go into) I've got a different groups of friends to do different things with. I guess sometimes, we just have to talk to people who at first glance, seem like the people we'd never get along with.

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When I first got into high school it was like that. I hung out with a bunch of the stoners and goths because... dunno. I just gravitated towards them, like you towards your "friends".

A year or so later though, I met a bunch of people playing TCGs in the lunchroom and have remained friends with them to this day, five years later (a number of them are members here). A couple of them are what most people would consider total losers, a couple of others very much "successful" people (albeit still nerdy xD). But if anything it's showed me that those "losers" all have redeeming traits, and success is highly relative.

I think meeting people through similiar interests who have some similar personality traits but aren't exact clones is the best way to go.

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Yeah actually I thought about this all the time in high school, especially when some of my closest friends started going off the track they had planned their entire life (go to college, get a career, family, etc). One dropped out, one's in rehab, one never went to college, even I skirted with academic dismissal last semester but somehow my appeal was successful after getting 4.0's in high school, AP credits, high on the ACT, extracurricular blah blah blah.

I'm sure we all WANT to succeed. It's not like we somehow lost the knowledge of right and wrong. I honestly don't know what it is. Maturity maybe. All i know is, I stopped seeing people as "social deviants" and "good christian men and women" and now start seeing all people as simply people who are just trying to get through the day just like me regardless of who they are, what they do, rich or poor, and what they think.

So I can't really see my buddies as "becoming deviants". I dont see myself or my buddies on any "side", right or wrong... no one is on a "side". They're just doing their thing. just like you, except making different choices, and they can make choices to get their shit together too just like anyone can... but who knows... i dunno... my heads hurting.

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I have a group of friends and I knew almost everyone at my high school (small school) but I get the feeling a lot of people didn't like me much.

Most of my friends are pretty definitely DND/video game types. I don't think that's a bad thing at all, since a lot of my friends are also interested in literature and/or music, two of my main interests.

I don't know, though. A lot of my friends are just people I hung out with at some point. And then they hung out with each other and bam, social group. I don't mind saying that I introduced a goodly number of my friends to my friends (and therefore their friends).

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I was pretty much always a geek. >_> And geeks call to their own. Even a perfectly normal, respectable looking geek exudes this aura of geekiness that, if not immediately, does eventually attract like-minded sorts. Those little slips, accidental quotings from Star Wars or Star Trek, off-handed technical jargon, affinity with numerical abstracts, ect, start to build up after a while...

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  • 3 weeks later...

High school was crazy for me. My freshmen year, I skated alot, and thats who I fell in with...Skaters.....

Eventually I made friends with all types: Preps, Jocks, Goths, DND nerds(OH SO MANY!), Ghetto fucks.

Basically I made friends with a few people from each group, through the various things I enjoy to do.

And it was enjoyable.

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