Anime Gee Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 A cop was on his horse, waiting to cross the street, when a little girl on her shiny new bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl said, "Next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top." ( ^o^) Link to comment
Belial Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: There is no light bulb. Link to comment
Belial Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Two muffins sitting in an oven and one of them says to the other "Damn its hot in here." and the other muffin says, "Holy Shit! A talking muffin!" Link to comment
Anime Gee Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 Two muffins sitting in an oven and one of them says to the other "Damn its hot in here." and the other muffin says, "Holy Shit! A talking muffin!" HAHAHAHAHA!!! Although very simple & all, this way way too fucking funny!! \(^o^ )/ Link to comment
amy Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 i like lightbulb jokes xD How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, he holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him. How many Ohio State University students does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a grad course. Link to comment
Poophy Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 How many members of congress does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don’t know, but it will cost 20 million dollars to do it Link to comment
NosferatuNeko Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 " dont knock masterbation i am having sex with the person i love" Link to comment
Poophy Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 I laughed my ass off at it… Link to comment
thebornotaku Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 " dont knock masterbation i am having sex with the person i love" haha! crube: you're an idiot. she is saying not to knock masturbation because she's having sex with the person she loves. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry! Link to comment
margot Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 What did Autumn check out at the library? A book! What's in the closet? Breasts! Link to comment
Crube Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 haha! crube: you're an idiot. she is saying not to knock masturbation because she's having sex with the person she loves. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry! You meant they are too busy with their LiveJournals? Link to comment
Anime Gee Posted December 10, 2005 Author Share Posted December 10, 2005 A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly." ( ^o^) Link to comment
R.T. Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 (edited) a fly walks up to a woman sitting at a bar and says, "I like that stool you're sitting on." Edited December 10, 2005 by R.T. Link to comment
Crube Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 A rabbi walked into a bar... "OY VEY!" Link to comment
Poophy Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Knock, knock Who's there? You ever hear the joke about crube and the bear? You ever hear the joke about crube and the bear who? Nevermind, it's pointless. Link to comment
margot Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 reaper: knock knock SaladTongo: Who's there reaper: banana SaladTongo: shit i didn't think you'd find me here Link to comment
Poophy Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Dam reaper… so sneaky… Link to comment
Samurai Drifter Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 How many conservatives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? FOUR HUNDRED AND SIXTY-TWO... Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry, sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D, thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs, fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb, forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead, and two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet. Link to comment
thebornotaku Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 reaper: knock knock SaladTongo: Who's there reaper: banana SaladTongo: shit i didn't think you'd find me here lol bash.org Link to comment
Crube Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 lol bash.org I don't get it. Link to comment
thebornotaku Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 And the Lord said "Come forth John, and recieve Eternal Life", but John came in fifth and only won a toaster. Link to comment
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