I don't have any social skills

[amy]

I don't think I ever developed social skills for real life. I just have these weird ones that tell lots of boring stories.

I think I give the impression that I look down on others, and don't like them or care about their lives. (I really like people a lot and I care about their lives!) At the same time I am pretty easy to find flaws in so I look like a hypocrite. I also give the impression that I'm very awkward and uncomfortable with everything.

For what it means, I cannot remember either of my parents ever having a friend. I think that's why I never know what to do, it didn't go in my inner brain or whatever

Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to be "hip and in the times" outside of buying a giant bear suit (because poophy's impossible to follow)?

Thanks~~ :snakes:

[Battle_Pope]

I think the only way to develop social skills is to throw yourself into society (big group of people) and see what happens. And absorb the media like a sponge. The latter being of less importance.

[amy]

ohh media, yeah I need to absorb that.

I think if i throw myself in I'll just stay the same you know? like in terms of the kind of people i gravitate to.

[Battle_Pope]

well there's nothing wrong with that. I think you take a rather fresh and unique approach to the whole social experience that in its own way works itself out. It pretty much gets rid of the whole "small talk" approach. I never cared much for talk being small anyway.

[amy]

I still think I talk way too much irl D=

I wish I knew how to make other people feel comfortable and tell their own stories/could relate/etc.

[Battle_Pope]

in order to do that you'd have to understand the person you were talking to.

[Samurai Drifter]

Welcome to the club.

[Reinas]

Go out there. Say hi. Make chit, chat. Talk about the weather. Ask them if they like cheese. Just keep talking. Don't try and impress people.

And get off the internet.

[cappy]

dont try to be anyone other than yourself... if anything people pick up on when someone isnt real FIRST. if you just plain suck at being charming you gotta practice.

its all about confidence, honestly. kinda like sales. if you wanna be dynamic and awesome like me, you have to try.

[Ceraziefish]

Wear a crazy hat. It works wonders.

Do interesting things but don't go out of your way to point them out to people. Just make identify a lot of things you can say beforehand on a specific topic.

[Mithrandir]

Ask people questions about themselves!

If you seem interested in someone they are much more like likely to like you.

[Battle_Pope]

I think it's far better to first feel confident about yourself, and then do what you want with your image. Confidence through image leads to perfecting the image rather than yourself. I see it as a highly materialistic and rather unnecessary form of acceptance, but that's just me.

[margot]

Hmm but when I liked my image it generally made me feel more relaxed and confident and it was easier for me to get past being shy etc. I'm not obsessed with my looks or material objects either.

[Battle_Pope]

It's whatever works for you, like I said, that's just how I feel about it.

[cappy]

I think if you wear really great clothes you feel more confident and more relaxed so it's easier to talk to people and all. I recently bought this really trendy vintage purse and it makes me feel more confident.. I don't know how to explain this without it sounding bad, but it's ok to sort of think of an idealized image of yourself and try to attain it?

For instance I wanted to be one of those hip indie girls so I started dressing more like that and listening to twee music more and cut my hair etc and it seems to be helping in presenting a cool, relaxed image to other people and everything. As long as it's close enough to your true personality and all.

I am sure you'll be really popular in college though, you strike me as that type.

i understand what you mean. striving to become your potential is completely different than mimicing someone else. if its awkward and uncomfortable to dress one way, and dressing another way makes you feel confident and relaxed, it very well could be that you are better off being the second.

and as always in life, if someone wants to talk shit, FUCK THEM.

[DreamerGirl]

I don't think I ever developed social skills for real life. I just have these weird ones that tell lots of boring stories.

I think I give the impression that I look down on others, and don't like them or care about their lives. (I really like people a lot and I care about their lives!) At the same time I am pretty easy to find flaws in so I look like a hypocrite. I also give the impression that I'm very awkward and uncomfortable with everything.

For what it means, I cannot remember either of my parents ever having a friend. I think that's why I never know what to do, it didn't go in my inner brain or whatever

Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to be "hip and in the times" outside of buying a giant bear suit (because poophy's impossible to follow)?

Thanks~~

You just need some confidence.

What exactly is "hip and in the times" anyway? Trust me, the last thing you want to do is try to fit into useless fads the rest of your life. Just be a genuine person, and people will love you.

If you care about people it will show, so don't worry about it so much. For example- I'm pretty distant in everyday situations, but at the same time I'm always the first person my best friend calls when she's really upset about something. I may not be the nicest to others, but she knows I care when it comes to her.

Trust me, you don't have to fit in with people to have friends. You just have to be a good person. I never understood that when I was young. I was more obsessed with fitting in than having friends though. (Well, obsessed and failing miserably.) :laugh:

[Belial]

I saw some people walking around downtown with a sign that said "Free Hugs" yesterday.

I don't know if that applies to anything in this thread, but I had to post it somewhere.

[Poophy]

A lot of people seem to be talking about confidence, implying that they seem to think that its because your nervous. Well if that’s the case then let me remind you of something, the world is full of people if you screw up with a billion people before you make some friends, well guess what, you have about 5.5 billion more chances

[Ceraziefish]

A lot of people seem to be talking about confidence, implying that they seem to think that its because your nervous. Well if that’s the case then let me remind you of something, the world is full of people if you screw up with a billion people before you make some friends, well guess what, you have about 5.5 billion more chances

Hahahahaha very true.

[margot]

I kinda agree with Foldered! I never really got anywhere by following advice to be honest. I think sometimes you just have to wait for things to happen on their own.

[Anime Gee]

Young lady, I know exactly what you need. You need to come down to southern California & visit the Anime Gee & Mr. Jones!! We'll party till we drop. We start in Los Angeles & before you know it, we're south of the boarder partying away in Tijuana, Rosarito, & Ensenada! (^o^ ) <3

But yeah. All you need to do is hang out with more people. I know this might sound contradicting, but hang out with LOTS of people, even if you don't like their style, ways, or something. You'll learn to adapt, accept, & handle social situations quickly. OK! ( ^o^)/

[FaultyClockwork]

I think amy's just thinking too hard about it.

You gotta let loose and go with it!

It's not helping amy, but ^this^ is me too.

[The Lone Magician]

I think that the best thing to do is to make friends with other people with no social skills. That way, you can be confident that all your friends are just like you. Also, don't think it's BAD that you're not "hip with the times," being hip would require you to be an idiot.

[cappy]

I think amy's just thinking too hard about it.

You gotta let loose and go with it!

yeah i agree with foldered, take a shot of whiskey before you go out anywhere. it will make you relax and have more fun!!

[DreamerGirl]

Alcoholism=Bad though. Just make sure you only use alcohol occasionally. :laugh: