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Accelerated Evolution



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In the 1980s, a man named Stephen Malkmus formed a rock band by the name of Pavement. The man, born in May 1966, was hailed as the second coming of Malkmus. Followers of Malkmus, 'Malkmites', began to obsessively collect all of his musical work, leading to the unimaginable success of Pavement. Malkmites are known to toss their underwear, which is required to bear the likeness of Malkmus, on stage at the end of each live act.

Mainstream success skyrocketed for Pavement, (who Malkmus renamed 'Malkmus' in 1995) until 1999, when the other band members grew jealous of Stephen Malkmus' popularity and dashing looks, and all quit. "He was a self-obsessed idiot," said band member Spiral Stairs, "but don't quote me on that." Mark Ibold has only offered "He's a dreamboat, but he's an asshole" as commentary about his ex-bandmate in a cryptic 2000 interview.

Since the dissolution of Pavement/Malkmus, Malkmus has gone solo. His first solo album, Me, Thee, and Malkmus (2001) reached #1 in the U.S Billboard Charts. It won 'Best Rock Album', 'Best Pop Album', and 'Best Rap Video' at the MTV Music Awards, and earned Malkmus a grammy.

Spurred on by the success, Malkmus eagerly returned to writing music. The next album, Stairway to Malkmus (2002), spawned 17 #1 singles, and saw Malkmus return to #1 on the U.S Billboard Album Charts. A study conducted by USA Today concluded that every household in the USA owned a Malkmus album, and over 75% of households owned two Malkmus albums.

Malkmus toured to support Stairway to Malkmus for three solid years, playing a show five times a week. Profits from the tour had grossed over $893(Billion) by the time the tour ended in 2005. He was diagnosed that winter with indieboyitis, the condition given to nineties indie rockers that are unable to age (or in the case of Thurston Moore, become crinkly and red).

Malkmus is currently working on songs for his next album, Straight Outta Malkmus, which is due to be released in 2008.


do you like malkmus?

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