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Accelerated Evolution

LOL CHRISTMAS

thebornotaku

By thebornotaku
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Samurai Drifter Post Whore

Samurai Drifter

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I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice, I want to say to all of you:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

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thebornotaku Post Whore

thebornotaku

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Posted

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice, I want to say to all of you:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

or basically, merry christmas, the USA pwns you, and happy new year.

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darkon Post Whore

darkon

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Satire about having to be unoffensive during the holiday season was so last year.

THANK YOU!

Yeah, quite honestly, everyone and their mother overstates how "unoffensive" we really have to be. The corporate jargon is Happy Holidays since, first off, many of these companies are owned by non-Christians. And second off, their target is not just Christmas shoppers. And plus, imagine how those pagans felt 1,500 years ago when Pope Julius declared their celebrations of the winter solstice as the time in which Christ was born. I'm sure they get pretty pissed off about it.

ODIN IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

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Venom112 Hax

Venom112

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Posted

Satire about having to be unoffensive during the holiday season was so last year.

But it's only a really widely relavent topic now. Sure, it is debatable, but the other side is wrong, so the debate is kind of lost to them.

The corporate jargon is Happy Holidays since, first off, many of these companies are owned by non-Christians. And second off, their target is not just Christmas shoppers.

Some may be owned by non-Christians, but advertisements have more effect when you can relate a product with a person, and considering America is heavily Christian populated, and even more just-Christmas celebrators on top of that, so logically it would make sense to appeal to the Christmas people.

As for the second argument, true, not just Christmas shoppers are the targets, but a stifling majority are.

I think it is offensive that they only show girls wearing make-up in commercials. Some males use it too, why exclude them? Discrimination of the highest order! I demand Political Correctness!

*whistles for the PC Police, a feared organization we can only prey explodes spontaneously*

And plus, imagine how those pagans felt 1,500 years ago when Pope Julius declared their celebrations of the winter solstice as the time in which Christ was born. I'm sure they get pretty pissed off about it.

But they got back at the Christians when they integrated the "Christmas" (pagan) tree into the celebration. People all gather round the ol' tree, a constantly living beacon that the pagans will never be snuffed out by the Christians. In fact, the pagans can even get the Christians to focus more on the tree and less on Christianity's savior, two points for pagans right there.

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