Something I've thought about lately

[Cip]

So yeah what I've been thinking of lately is how today's relationships that begin earlier in life/highschool are effected by technology. For example our parents did not have computers, instant messenger, email or cell phones to communicate with boyfriends or girlfriends. So what Im getting down to is the question of whether or not the increased accessibility of communication and common interests plays a larger role in relationships now, which potentially could cause today's early relationships to be stronger than those our parents may have experienced. Now clearly this can be argued because love/interest in someone is interpretated differently from person to person as are natural connections, but isnt it also arguable that due to an increase in communication between people and couples that these initial relationships tend to be accelerated due to technology? Also due to technology we can now with more ease find people out of town or school even, or even social groups for that matter. I just know that the girlfriend I'm dating now I've never had as strong of feelings for towards anyone else but I also know that I would have never found her if it wasnt for today's technology. Its just a thought but I'd like to hear what you guys think of it.

edit: after reading alot of the responses let me make myself more clear, Im not talking about online relationships at ALL, Im more refering to how much more of a variety of people you have potential of meeting using these things. Of course real life relationships are better thats not what Im saying, you cant carry on a relationship without face to face contact, Im just saying the use of these certain devices broadens the horizons in some cases.

[The Lone Magician]

You make a good point there, sir.

[Wind]

one of these days you'll find me, going balls deep in you.

[Makil]

I think it helps a lot in one. Though of course I don't get on AIM or anything like that much anymore but yay for cell phones and the like. :]

[DreamerGirl]

I mean, you can't deny meeting people online has become a huge phenomenon, but that goes for both older and younger people. I have a friend whose mom moved to England to be with some guy, and apparently has never been happier. (Although I can't help but find the whole thing odd.)

Even years before now communication wasn't exactly limited, unless you are talking about very young relationships and strict parents, but overall the "15 year old girl tying up the home phone line while people try to convince her to let them use the phone" stereotype comes to mind.

Personally, I love email. It's great for when some thought hits you at 2 am and you just have to tell so-and-so before you forget. (And yes, I've accidently called people at that time before.) I don't usually sign into MSN though. Typically only when I'm trying to see who else is bored at home and I feel like going somewhere.

I'm not really sure if talking online with the person your dating between dates makes things go any deeper though. I'd probably argue that it wouldn't, since communication is just as important, if not more important, face to face instead of via internet/phones. Some people just connect and spend so much time together technology isn't really necessary. I suppose certain romantics would argue it's easier to find "the one" when there's so many more ways to meet people now, but I find that concept stretched, at best.

[Cip]

I mean, you can't deny meeting people online has become a huge phenomenon, but that goes for both older and younger people. I have a friend whose mom moved to England to be with some guy, and apparently has never been happier. (Although I can't help but find the whole thing odd.)

Even years before now communication wasn't exactly limited, unless you are talking about very young relationships and strict parents, but overall the "15 year old girl tying up the home phone line while people try to convince her to let them use the phone" stereotype comes to mind.

Personally, I love email. It's great for when some thought hits you at 2 am and you just have to tell so-and-so before you forget. (And yes, I've accidently called people at that time before.) I don't usually sign into MSN though. Typically only when I'm trying to see who else is bored at home and I feel like going somewhere.

I'm not really sure if talking online with the person your dating between dates makes things go any deeper though. I'd probably argue that it wouldn't, since communication is just as important, if not more important, face to face instead of via internet/phones. Some people just connect and spend so much time together technology isn't really necessary. I suppose certain romantics would argue it's easier to find "the one" when there's so many more ways to meet people now, but I find that concept stretched, at best.

well I agree completely that face to face communication is completely more effective, but I wasn't neccisarily trying to say that using instant messenger to have a relationship makes one stronger, its the opposite if anything because it doesnt teach you people skills in real life very well. But I did mean was that due to things such as instant messengers it is far easier to come in contact and maybe set the groundwork for a relationship.

[Ceraziefish]

If you'd ever been dumped over AIM, you would understand how technology really improves the whole thing.

And by improves I mean makes me bitter for a few weeks afterwards. Well, I wish it was just weeks, anyway.

[FaultyClockwork]

Technology also has plenty of issues, like you can't get away from them unless you turn your cell phone off, don't respond to e-mails, don't check your myspace and log on to AIM in invisible mode. Also, if you're talking like that so often you're not fostering much of a face to face relationship, not that talking over IMs or cell phones is a bad thing or the use of technology = people not meeting up together but I hope you get my point. Also with the advent of internet and TV based mass marketing, the cliquey high school outside of high school that is myspace and stuff like that, people have gotten incresingly fickle and blase and have developed such short attention spans that they nearly rival gold fish, which doesn't make for great people to date.

Technology has its strong points but it has its cons too. And anyway I haven't met many teenagers nearly 3-dimensional or interesting or intelligent enough to date regardless. Teenagers are bankrupt individuals.

[amy]

I think it's always better to start & have relationships IRL, friend-relationships or internet-relationships.

I really don't like AIM, I think it's invasive.

All that technology has done, if anything, is make relationships more creepy and awkward and privacy-bending. D<

I kind of wish I was social enough to go out and make the kind of friends I have here, in the real world. (I KIND OF STOPPED TALKING TO PEOPLE LAST SUMMER - IF IT WASNT SENIOR YEAR I WOULD GO OUT AND MAKE FRIENDS BUT PSH WHATEVER) That works out well I guess for the loser types, it's easier to make friends with less effort? But a romantic relationship is very different from internet buddies.

[DreamerGirl]

well I agree completely that face to face communication is completely more effective, but I wasn't neccisarily trying to say that using instant messenger to have a relationship makes one stronger, its the opposite if anything because it doesnt teach you people skills in real life very well. But I did mean was that due to things such as instant messengers it is far easier to come in contact and maybe set the groundwork for a relationship.

See, I just can't imagine using IMs as setting the groundwork in a relationship. I feel the same way about blind dates and things like that though. The only people I've ever had a relationship with I've seen one day a week for a year or so. It makes the first date not awkward at all. XD (I guess by the time you're dating you're so used to hanging out that it doesn't matter.)

Anyone local on my MSN are people I knew for quite a while and hung out with before they were added. Ususually they keep trying to call a lot or something and I hate phones so I use it as an out. And cell phones are so much like home phones I don't see how they would effect the communication between relationships.

If you'd ever been dumped over AIM, you would understand how technology really improves the whole thing.

And by improves I mean makes me bitter for a few weeks afterwards. Well, I wish it was just weeks, anyway.

Wow. That's just awful.

Technology has its strong points but it has its cons too. And anyway I haven't met many teenagers nearly 3-dimensional or interesting or intelligent enough to date regardless. Teenagers are bankrupt individuals.

I find most people are like that. ^^;;

[FaultyClockwork]

Yeah, humans are just bankrupt people. That's why I love cats. They have character.

[amy]

My sister wrote her MCAS "Who Do You Respect" essay today on our cat.

[Belial]

Yeah, humans are just bankrupt people. That's why I love cats. They have character.

:unsure:

[No Sad Endings]

I love being able to have friends all over the world. It's awesome. Also I communicate much more effectively in writing than in speech. (For many reasons.) So I'm able to have deeper conversations over the internet than I am when I'm with people face-to-face.

[Reinas]

I think it is hard to carry relationships (platonic and romantic) with prolonged face to face contact. That's why I still like using the phone, because it is convenient to use IM for a lot of people at the same time. But it just doesn't carry the personal interaction as you somewhat have through a phone.

[Chris]

That's why I love cats. They have character.

cats are very independant though, that doesnt exhibit much character to me, dogs may be a better example

[Ceraziefish]

cats are very independant though, that doesnt exhibit much character to me, dogs may be a better example

Bah.

Look, I know some people love dogs, but to me, they're loud, stinky, and (often, although I have met dogs who were an exception to this) dumb as rocks.

Cats, on the other hand, can be dumb, but are often smart, quiet, and, at the very least, self-cleaning. I like cats a lot. They're often more laid-back, too, although, again, this is not a rule.

I mean, most pets are cool, but I definitely prefer cats.

[margot]

how did people even date before the internet? That's like impossible.

[margot]

how did people even date before the internet? That's like impossible.

[No Sad Endings]

cats are very independant though, that doesnt exhibit much character to me, dogs may be a better example

o.O You're clearly not a cat person. Cats have way more personality in my perception than dogs do. Dogs are mostly just "INTRUDER BARK AT IT" and "MASTER LICK IT LOVE MEEEEE".

[Pamuya]

my dog rotuinely bites my mother's ass.

so yeah, that's what a dog's like.

[Natsu]

o.O You're clearly not a cat person. Cats have way more personality in my perception than dogs do. Dogs are mostly just "INTRUDER BARK AT IT" and "MASTER LICK IT LOVE MEEEEE".

..Cats are lazy as shit and jus lay around the house. and scratch shit up.. there are more dog owners then cat owners..

to stay on topic the interent has neeted me a wife, some great friends..and ummmthats all I can think of at the moment.

[Gundampilotspaz]

..Cats are lazy as shit and jus lay around the house. and scratch shit up.. there are more dog owners then cat owners..

The majority is almost most assuredly wrong.

[Ceraziefish]

The majority is almost most assuredly wrong.

...You really are a fascist, aren't you?

On topic; cats are cuddley.

[FaultyClockwork]

And fluffy and cute. My friend Laura's cat Charlie conducts a lot of static electricity. One time I sat there and rubbed him then shocked his ears and kept doing it until I got bored.