Trouble in the Bayou

[Pickle-sama]

Okay, so... Lemme just start by saying that Crube told me to post this. I don't ever like to shove my problems on other people, or even complain about my problems to my friends. But I've come to a total loss, and after explaining it to him, he has no advice for me. So, lemme get started.

There's Justin, and there's Bryan. Bryan is my fiance that I've been with/have known for almost thirteen months. I've know Justin for seven years. We were friends. I had a boyfriend that passed away, and Justin was there. I started to realize I loved him, but he lost his internet and dissapeared for a long while. Then I met Bryan, and we fell in love.

Well, lately things haven't been so fantastic with Bryan and I. He's very money obsessed. He isn't totally obsessed or always thinking/talking about it, but it's definately present for him more than it is for me. I, personally, could care less about money. Well recently Justin and I have been talking quite a bit and I've realized how I feel about him. I'm becomming increasingly depressed with Bryan. We're fighting more and more. We don't always fight verbally, but there's definately a tension.

Like, take for example this afternoon. I paid the rent, 200 a month, from my 320 dollar check. I bought minutes for my phone, some shampoo and conditioner, deoderant, etc. Y'know, the sort of things I kind of NEED around the house. I got cereal so that I could eat in the morning before I go to work, to help save money since he's always bitching about saving money. I had about five bucks left in my wallet and I took ten from him. Now, yesterday he told me he had a bunch of money AS WELL AS his unchased four hundred dollar check. But when I took the ten, he started bitching at me because all he had was that ten and a twenty. I told him he had enough to last him until tomorrow, when he could cash the check.

Well, maybe it's totally wrong for me to ask him for any money. Even though he blew four hundred dollars on a XBox, after fussing me and nagging me to start saving money. He kept trying to make excuses about me taking the ten for food, so I tossed it back up on the counter and left.

I'm mostly just tired of him bitching at me to save money, and then going spend four hundred dollars that we could really use right now... Justin really cares about me, and if anything he wants Bryan and I to stay together... But I'm just tired of having to deal with the drama and the headache. I want to stay with Bryan, because I don't want to break his heart... I want him to be happy. Everyone so far has said that I need to be happy, too... and sometimes I am happy, but it's coming to the point where I'm sad more often than happy...

So, if anyone has any wisdom for me, I'd love to know your thoughts/opinions.. Should I stick with my fiance, who's starting to think of nothing but money...

Or should I go with the old friend, the one who loves me and could care less about money... The one who would drop anything to be at my side, who would be here in a heartbeat to help me...

[Natsu]

Honestly this is a no-brainer..drop Bryan like a bad habit...I mean if money is that more important to him then leave him be.

[Pickle-sama]

Honestly this is a no-brainer..drop Bryan like a bad habit...I mean if money is that more important to him then leave him be.

Yeah, I just hate to hurt him. I know he'd be lost without me, but I don't think he'll ever be able to let go of his obsession with money, and as long as he keeps being so worried about money, I'll be miserable.

[Mithrandir]

Well your post itself makes it very clear what you want to do, but here's my opinion (which just happens to entirely agree with what you wanted to do in the first place):

You should leave Bryan. You may love him and not want to hurt him, but to stay with him when you feel like this will hurt both of you more in the long run than if you were to leave him now. I know, that doesn't offer much comfort, it's a bitch of a choice, but in times like these you have to look at what's best for you.

Plus, people who love money that much are never good news.

[Pickle-sama]

Well your post itself makes it very clear what you want to do, but here's my opinion (which just happens to entirely agree with what you wanted to do in the first place):

You should leave Bryan. You may love him and not want to hurt him, but to stay with him when you feel like this will hurt both of you more in the long run than if you were to leave him now. I know, that doesn't offer much comfort, it's a bitch of a choice, but in times like these you have to look at what's best for you.

Plus, people who love money that much are never good news.

It seems that that's becomming the popular choice, though. I talked to a couple others in Aim. Crube said the same thing; he thinks we need each other, Justin and I... and he's probably right.

[Natsu]

Yeah, I just hate to hurt him. I know he'd be lost without me, but I don't think he'll ever be able to let go of his obsession with money, and as long as he keeps being so worried about money, I'll be miserable.

also its jus the fact of the matter, that if he marries you..it will get alot worse and he needs to realize the fact that its not his or your money, its both of your money as a whole, and him jus follishly spending it on a game system and ..meh.. you get what I'm saying in general..I think you made up your mind

[DreamerGirl]

Bryan's no good. If there's already this many problems, there's just going to be more later.

But I also don't think you should run right to Justin either. (Trust me, I know it's tempting but when you rush into something after one breakup, well, in my experience it doesn't go well.)

Just take your time. ^_^ Sort things out for you first.

[Harrison Ford]

It's actually very fucking easy.

Think about this: Can you see yourself with Bryan, happily, for the rest of your life? If the answer is no, drop him right now and don't waste his or your life.

That's my general rule with relationships.

[JeremyGEE]

DROP EM!

[Ceraziefish]

Well, it seems like Bryan is being a huge cunt, but at the same time, it sounds like you could definitely be idealizing Justin.

So just... be careful. There's no perfect way to proceed. That's the problem with relationships. You need to be careful and thoughtful. If you can take a few hours and go away from all these people for a little while, even if it's just driving to a park to clear out your head, that would be my recommendation.

[Crube]

Well, it seems like Bryan is being a huge cunt, but at the same time, it sounds like you could definitely be idealizing Justin.

Oh she is... She called me Justin at least once during our AIM conversation. :awesome:

[Harrison Ford]

LoL @ AoL Relation ships

[J-Stop]

He doesn't look like this , does he?

In all seriousness, though, who's making the money here? If it's just him that you can't bitch about his spending habits until you both say 'I do' or officially tie your bank accounts together. If you both are making money, don't pool it anymore. It already sounds like this guy is a penny pincher and if he's just going to splurge the pooled money on something as huge as a 360 (At least I'm guessing it was a 360, either that or you got fucked on a original xbox deal) you need to stop it.

Put a stop to that right now. It'll mean that you'll need to buy your own shit, but also means he has to buy his and neither of you can bitch about the others spending habits. If you're too worried about doing that because of his reaction to it, then you probably shouldn't be with him.

[Crube]

LoL @ AoL Relation ships

Uhm, Bryan and Pickle pretty much live together in the same city. :awesome:

[Wind]

the one who will be there in a heartbeat.

[Chris]

All I have to say is, if Bryan won't let you approach him on the situation, you will truly know in your heart and mind that Justin is the one you must go for, good luck!

[darkon]

Everything worth saying has been said already. But try and tell Bryan how you feel, and how you're worried the marriage might not work. And if he listens and tries to improve then maybe you should stay with him, but if not drop him in a heartbeat.

[Crube]

In other news, Pickle is now in New York City.

[DreamerGirl]

In other news, Pickle is now in New York City.

What's she doing there? o_o

[Anime Gee]

Hmmmmm.... Sounds like the two of you need a break from each other. Yes. A long break from each other.

First thing's first, talk to Bryan & let him know how you feel, like the Rick Astley said. Communication is the key. A lack of communication will take a relationship farther & faster down the crapper than you can possibly imagine. Yeap.

Lets just say that if you don't take a break from each other or you don't speak your problems out, things are going to turn out really ugly. If you really like this Bryan guy, then you better try & work it out & have him work it out as well. It takes an effort from both sides. If he kinda refuses to budge, then parting ways would seem like a better option.

OK! ( ^o^)/