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Accelerated Evolution



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Okay, so, atomic holocaust.

We need to separate the winners and the losers. The winners go to a bunker where they'll stay safe and then breed constantly, 24/7 with water and meal breaks, while the losers get bombed. When the soil is fertile again, the winners will stake a new world.

The problem is how we determine winners. I recommend some kind of Battle Royale, but that kinda eliminates the point.

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"Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?"

"Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."

"I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor."

-Dr. Strangelove.

Edited by Samurai Drifter
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We will take the most intelligent members of our species and put them in underground bunkers. To insure the continuation of humanity, the male/female ratio will be 1 mand to 10 women. I reccomend that to encourage mating, the females be of a highly stimulating nature.

Someone get this man a wheelchair and sunglasses.

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*guy1 runs in*

guy1: Oh my gosh you guys! The end is nigh! The end is frickin' nigh! *flails arms*

guy2: Whoa buddy, slow down. What's this about the end of the world.

guy1: God came to me through the parting clouds and as a ray of light struck me, I heard his voice blasting throughout my head. And it wasn't even due to drinking like it was the last 4 times! It was real this time. God said, "The end is nigh." That was all. I have to warn everyone!

guy2: Hold on. God... An omnipresent being came to you, and gave only you this message? More importantly, did you not realize that time is merely a passing though to someone that powerful? I mean, "end is nigh" could be 3,000 years from now and it would still count because that's what? *figures in head* Maybe a few minutes or seconds to God? Besides, what good is that information? Like you can really do anything about it. God would just be an ass to warn you of the end times.

guy3: What about Job?

guy2: Good point.

guy1: So instead of repenting, I should have frivolous sex and get smashed?

guy2: Now you're thinking!

*sits guy1 down and they all drink a few*

1 to 5 is more realistic.

Ho ho ho, that GPS and his lack of humor comprehension.

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