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The Masterplan

What happened?

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I will have been going to college for a month in three days. I have one academic class and three art classes. This is awesome for me cause I love art. Well, I had a sort of epiphany today in my basic drawing class. I'm not one to toot my own horn, but when I was in high school, I produced some rad shit. And on occasion, I still do. Now, today I was in my basic drawing class and they have these pseudo-critiques. I got up and looked at everyone's stuff and looked at mine and thought "Wow, I suck. What the hell happened?". And it wasn't just today, I've noticed here and there in my basic drawing and one of my design classes that I'm not so hot anymore and I don't understand why. I'm happy that other people do well, I really am, but quite frankly it's depressing to me to see myself do so poorly; not just compared to classmates, but just comparing to what I did and what I know I'm capable of. I guess it's a matter of working to potential, but I don't know. I just sit there and I draw like anyone else but when I see someone else's and I look back at mine, I'm just disgusted. Can someone explain to me what the hell happened between the end of high school and the beginning of college? Like I said, it's not even about me comparing myself to others. I know full well that no matter how good you are, there's always someone better...unless you're Tim. But seriously, it's not a matter of me vs. everyone else but me where I am now vs. me where I was not long ago. What the fuck happened?

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Maybe you were on a roll. You were probably bored in High School, and thus didn't pay attention, so you focused more on creativity rather than boring homework or something. I'm guessing you were bored in High School.

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I'd say that it was really a lack of any sort of standard at MCA to compare yourself to the rest of the world. And possibly, by seeing other people's works, your view of what is good has changed. Maybe because you have this new view, your new stuff could be as good as the old stuff but your prospective has changed and caused you to think you're not as good.

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Maybe you were on a roll. You were probably bored in High School, and thus didn't pay attention, so you focused more on creativity rather than boring homework or something. I'm guessing you were bored in High School.

Yeah, I had a D in my math class cause I never did a single homework assignment. Had I had done homework, I would've gotten an A.

I'd say that it was really a lack of any sort of standard at MCA to compare yourself to the rest of the world. And possibly, by seeing other people's works, your view of what is good has changed. Maybe because you have this new view, your new stuff could be as good as the old stuff but your prospective has changed and caused you to think you're not as good.

It's true and I hate that place for it. There really was no challenge which is why I stopped giving a shit sophomore year. The closest thing I had was ACSI and there was some nice shit there, but I guess I needed more exposure. You're right though, I think a change of surroundings has put myself back in perspective. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I think I kind of scared myself or something. I just feel like I should be doing so much better.

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Yeah, I had a D in my math class cause I never did a single homework assignment. Had I had done homework, I would've gotten an A.

It's true and I hate that place for it. There really was no challenge which is why I stopped giving a shit sophomore year. The closest thing I had was ACSI and there was some nice shit there, but I guess I needed more exposure. You're right though, I think a change of surroundings has put myself back in perspective. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I think I kind of scared myself or something. I just feel like I should be doing so much better.

It's a scary thing but it's definitely beneficial. It's also a sink or swim point. Basically it'll give you the kick in the ass to either say, "I need to get better" or "I need to give up" It's the same thing with music. I know there are people who are way better than me so I just have to work harder to become as good or better than them. Since art is really a passion of yours I think you need to do the same. Just invest a lot of time and effort into these classes that you get to take so that you can move yourself to where you want to be.

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I know full well that no matter how good you are, there's always someone better...unless you're Tim.

:awesome: :awesome: :awesome:

but yeah, i think John pretty much nailed it on the head. when there's no one around to 'compete' with, it's really easy to feel really great about your work. it's only when you surround yourself with the best that you start to realize "holy shit, i need to shape up". i had a problem with that back at my school because almost none of my classmates ever really stepped it up and gave me anything worth competing against

this is a big reason i keep stressing the importance of you guys looking at big time artists as inspiration. if you want to be an artist worth a dick you have to imagine what it would look like if you put some of your work up next to your favorite artist and how embarrassing it would be, and use that as motivation to not only get that good, but BETTER

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I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get better, but you're all right. When I woke up this morning I was questioning whether or not I should be pursuing this, but I can't count myself out just yet. I guess the best thing I can do is just keep going and just applying myself that much more.

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Get feedback from your peers..

Everyone is their own worst critic. And thats the bottom line.

I've found that to not always be true.

Especially in the case of terrible artists. A lot of them seem to not be self-critical at all. /rant

Anyway, I'd suggest you stick with the art. Keep working at it. It's good that you don't care about what your stuff is like compared to other people.

The thing about college is that you're not there to perform well, you're there to learn. Ex: Right now I'm taking a history class. Now, would the teacher expect me to know all about history and just show off my knowledge in class all the time? No, because that's not the point of the class. Of course, I do anyway, but that's because I've got more of a handle on history than most people.

Don't give up. Learn, and try not to be self conscious.

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Get feedback from your peers..

Everyone is their own worst critic. And thats the bottom line.

yeah man i think we know a couple of people like that :whistling:

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