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Accelerated Evolution

Alicia's Rant's Volume 1


DreamerGirl

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Alright, so there's this friend Nicole. She's a selfish bitch. Allow me to explain-

Nicole's life revolves around herself, and this ugly geek who keeps dumping her. Seriously, I could be in the hospital right now and she wouldn't show up.

She wasn't there for my birthday, even though I went out of my way to go somewhere she could get in because she wasn't 21 at the time. Then, of course she expects me to take her out because big surprise she has no friends left.

Our best friend Krystal just had a beautiful baby boy, and she won't go visit. Why? "Because I don't know where it is and I have to get ready to leave tomorrow." Now, if it were her, she'd be throwing a tantrum about us not going.

I don't have a problem at all with casual friends. In the wise words of Tony, people just typically don't stay in our lives that long. My problem is when a casual friend thinks they should be treated as more than that and when she's always sending stuff to my phone about "Best friends forever" and "My girls before the guys" etc etc etc. IT'S ALL BULL. That's what really gets me irrate. If you don't care about someone, don't fucking fake it. Seriously.

I wouldn't even care if it wasn't for her fakeness. It makes me want to go off on her and kick her out of my life. I'm trying to let my head clear before I do anything hasty, but even if I was hasty there really isn't too much to lose. Hell, even movies have to be what she wants to see everytime and we go where she wants when she wants. Nevermind the fact that I'm the busier one out of the two of us because I actually treat people decent.

Grrrrr.

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Alright, so there's this friend Nicole. She's a selfish bitch. Allow me to explain-

Nicole's life revolves around herself, and this ugly geek who keeps dumping her. Seriously, I could be in the hospital right now and she wouldn't show up.

She wasn't there for my birthday, even though I went out of my way to go somewhere she could get in because she wasn't 21 at the time. Then, of course she expects me to take her out because big surprise she has no friends left.

Our best friend Krystal just had a beautiful baby boy, and she won't go visit. Why? "Because I don't know where it is and I have to get ready to leave tomorrow." Now, if it were her, she'd be throwing a tantrum about us not going.

I don't have a problem at all with casual friends. In the wise words of Tony, people just typically don't stay in our lives that long. My problem is when a casual friend thinks they should be treated as more than that and when she's always sending stuff to my phone about "Best friends forever" and "My girls before the guys" etc etc etc. IT'S ALL BULL. That's what really gets me irrate. If you don't care about someone, don't fucking fake it. Seriously.

I wouldn't even care if it wasn't for her fakeness. It makes me want to go off on her and kick her out of my life. I'm trying to let my head clear before I do anything hasty, but even if I was hasty there really isn't too much to lose. Hell, even movies have to be what she wants to see everytime and we go where she wants when she wants. Nevermind the fact that I'm the busier one out of the two of us because I actually treat people decent.

Grrrrr.

It's a shame we've never met, because I've known of plethora of people just like the type you're describing here. As deep as it sounds, just say "fuck it". Don't go out of your way or kill yourself to make someone like that happy especially if they're not going to appreciate it, which, based on the nature of your rant, they aren't. People like that just need to be ignored even if you don't want them to be out of your life, because in the end, they're usually more trouble than they're worth. I have a friend or two right now that sound just like the person you've described and that's kind of how I treat them. I'm not going to go out of my way for them and when they just act like assholes, I pay them no mind. But when they actually want to be cool like they can be now and again, then hang with them and stuff. Not the best advice, but that's what I have done and how I deal with said kind of people. Hope that helps.

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Have you talked with her about any of this?

Seriously talking to a friend is the best way to figure out if they're actually a friend, or just a douchebag.

Yeah, I gotta go with CF on this one. Talk to her and don't worry about her reaction-usually if it's a bad reaction all will become clear, i.e. she's not the person you need her to be.

When I come across people like this, I usually just write them off since it's really not worth the heartache. She sounds immature and egocentric, and if that is not what you want in a friend than just forget about her. I know I make it sound easier than it really is, but it's best to just put negative influences where they belong: in your past.

I know this girl right now that acts like she wants to be my friend. She will tell me she is going to call on a certain day and she doesn't, invited me to her kids birthday party tomorrow but probably won't show up, etc. I would like to be her friend but she just doesn't meet the requirements. She says things she don't mean and won't follow up on her promises to call-I just don't let it bother me. She's a messed up girl and I really don't want her in my life. Our values don't mix and I just won't compromise who I am in the name of friendship. Especially superficial friendship.

Personally, I hate friend drama and choose not to let it affect my life. I am very particular about who I let into my life. I don't waste time with the superficial and egocentric.

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In life, you begin to learn who are your real friends & who are acquaintances. Then you begin to learn that life is too short to be wasted on acquaintances & you just kinda learn to put them aside & not waste time with them. Sounds to me like you haven't gotten to that point yet. Seems to me like she's just an acquaintance & nothing more. Time to take a lesson in life & quit wasting time with her & focus your short time on your real friends. Yup. Works out better that way. Less stress & everything else. (^_^ )

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okay, alicia, i sort of used to be one of those people

do indeed, ignore her. if she's halfway smart, she'll figure out why. and maybe even change.

i did to the point where people like me now, but i still am a bit omg its all about me sometimes.

We all are to some extent. It's only human nature. The trick is just trying to keep things in perspective - even though your feelings are wounded because you're perceiving everything with you at its center, taking time to remind yourself that other people are at the center of their own lives, not you.

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It's a shame we've never met, because I've known of plethora of people just like the type you're describing here. As deep as it sounds, just say "fuck it". Don't go out of your way or kill yourself to make someone like that happy especially if they're not going to appreciate it, which, based on the nature of your rant, they aren't. People like that just need to be ignored even if you don't want them to be out of your life, because in the end, they're usually more trouble than they're worth. I have a friend or two right now that sound just like the person you've described and that's kind of how I treat them. I'm not going to go out of my way for them and when they just act like assholes, I pay them no mind. But when they actually want to be cool like they can be now and again, then hang with them and stuff. Not the best advice, but that's what I have done and how I deal with said kind of people. Hope that helps.

That's what I'm leading towards now that I'm not so mad. I'd have no problem keeping her as a casual friend, but whenever she tries to claim the title of us being best friends I keep getting more and more upset, so I'm thinking it may be time to just cut off contact.

Yeah, I gotta go with CF on this one. Talk to her and don't worry about her reaction-usually if it's a bad reaction all will become clear, i.e. she's not the person you need her to be.

I'm not the best with communication like this (very blunt) so I just know this conversation would go awful. ^^;;

That's probably the worst way to avoid drama, unless she doesn't talk to your other friends at all.

Actually, she doesn't. XD She does know where I live and work though. (Dun dun dun.)

In life, you begin to learn who are your real friends & who are acquaintances. Then you begin to learn that life is too short to be wasted on acquaintances & you just kinda learn to put them aside & not waste time with them. Sounds to me like you haven't gotten to that point yet. Seems to me like she's just an acquaintance & nothing more. Time to take a lesson in life & quit wasting time with her & focus your short time on your real friends. Yup. Works out better that way. Less stress & everything else. (^_^ )

Exactly, now she must either figure out her spot in my life as an acquaintance, or stop talking to me because I hate the fake stuff.

We all are to some extent. It's only human nature. The trick is just trying to keep things in perspective - even though your feelings are wounded because you're perceiving everything with you at its center, taking time to remind yourself that other people are at the center of their own lives, not you.

That's the other reason I'm worried about bringing this up to her. I go through my times where I can be very selfish, but at the same time I know when a close friend needs me and I still try to be there for them. Like when I visited Krystal, I had plans for that night but I knew visiting her was more important. I just can't stand to hear Nicole talk about how she'll always be there when people need her, etc when she never has been, and never is. If you aren't going to be there, that's fine, but don't lie to people. That's the most awful thing about all this.

Now that I'm calm though, rather than blow up at her I think I'm just going to ignore her for a while, see if I ever feel the urge to talk to her again, and eventually either do so or delete her number off my phone. (Kind of my official way of saying goodbye.)

Thanks for the input everyone!

....And I thought I was violent. XD

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I agree with what most people have said in this thread -- and Gee basically summarized it all.

Exactly, now she must either figure out her spot in my life as an acquaintance, or stop talking to me because I hate the fake stuff.

I don't think you should waste your time trying to "figure out" her spot in your life. I've had a lot of people take advantage of me because I put so much into my friendships -- and its only recently that I've started to not care when I feel people don't appreciate my friendship.

What I've started to do as of late [like...I'd only started to realize this when I was 17 -- I'm 20 now...so yeah, not long] is when I feel people are taking me for granted -- I just really STOP caring about what they have to say. I don't bother to call them [when it is usually me doing the calling, making plans, getting canceled on, etc...] and they usually [sometimes not] realize it and call me and wonder 'oh hey, where've you been' type of thing -- I still don't call them as often as I had in the past and such and if they want to make plans it's going to be on my schedule, not their's.

At first I find it kind of weird not picking up the phone to call them or waiting around for them or whatever -- but I get used to it overtime and then wonder what the heck had I been doing in the beginning chasing after them.

It's worked for some of my friends and others have just gone on with their lives -- and they way I see it...if we stop being friends at that point...we would've stopped being friends eventually so it's good that I didn't drag this friendships, that I'm only putting effort into, out to its full extent. It would've ended up being a bigger hassle later on, anyways.

Yeah it seems sort of selfish -- but I feel that since I had put in 110% originally and had no appreciation from them...hey, its the least they can do.

[ahh, I just babbled and yeah...haha, hopefully you'll get something out of that entire thing]

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I want her to realize she is not my best friend.
Quite simple. Just brush her off when she's around & pretty much ignore her calls, emails, & any other form of random stupidity that comes from her. Make it a point not to hang out with her either. Before you know it, this person's out of your life for good! (^o^ ) <3
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  • 2 weeks later...

Quite simple. Just brush her off when she's around & pretty much ignore her calls, emails, & any other form of random stupidity that comes from her. Make it a point not to hang out with her either. Before you know it, this person's out of your life for good! (^o^ ) <3

If she's really dense she won't catch the hint. I know this from experiance, as I used to be a twat. It's best to lay down the line, I think. What can she do to you if she's burned all other bridges?

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