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Accelerated Evolution

My mother is a stupid bitch.


DreamerGirl

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I just found out my mother is getting a pregnancy test tomorrow. She has every intention of keeping it.

This pisses me off to no end, because first off, she should be more responsible by now. Second thing, she always preaches about overpopulation and that everyone should only have two children, but this will be her fourth if she is pregnant. It's just hypocritical.

As a lot of you may know, we lost our house almost 3 years ago. Now, we rent this dump in the country for $250 a month, which less face it I bet most of you have to pay more than that even with roomates. Still, my parents can't support themselves on what they make. I've had to give my mom gas money, bought her lunch at work, and bought groceries the past week. If I don't do this, I'm seen as the bad child. Nevermind the fact that my mom promised back in high school to pay my college bill if I got the scholarships I did, and hasn't, so I can't register for classes right now and possibly won't graduate. I work so much while in school that I really can't keep up (I just failed another chem test) and I can't slow down at all because even so I'm not able to do it all. Now, I told her not to buy me anything for Christmas and to just try to get the boys a decent amount of stuff. Now, she's possibly going to be out of work when she's the only parent who has a job? It's fucking bullshit. My brother Teddy graduates this year, and there's no way he's able to work and go to college like I do, so he'll have to suffer for this too.

My dad is dying so by the time this baby would be 11 it'd probably have no father, and then my mother will probably still be working as much as she is, and so this baby basically won't have parents. I'm not going to let her try to force my youngest brother into the same roles I had to deal with. If this does turn out for the worse, I have every intention of getting him out of the house when he's 18 (no matter how poorly I'll have to live.)

At this point I'm just refusing to talk to her. I figure I'll let the boys give them the presents I had bought for them already, but I am no longer going to buy as much as I was going to and instead focus on my brothers. I'm not buying my mom a birthday/anniversary present. I need to just cut her out of my life, as this is not healthy and I saw her mother put her through the same manipulative behavior. (Honestly my huge fear is that I'm going to some day turn out the same way.) I feel awful for this possible child on its way, but I really have to focus on my two brothers right now. (They are still young, and I don't want them to get as messed up as my aunt and uncles became from their mother.) I really hate the entire situation, and I realize that as soon as my mom loses her use of me she will probably throw me out, but if I'm not going to be graduating anyways at this rate it might be the healthiest thing for me, and I can work more to make more $ to take care of them.

I'm so tired and overwhelmed and I really am sick of trying to be responsible for other people. Just once I wish I could have had normal, healthy parents. I already feel like I'm losing control of my own life, and now I have the added burden of trying to keep food in my brother's mouths. I see my friend's relationships with their mothers and fathers and I start to think it's my fault, like I'm the bad defective child or something.

I really hope she isn't, but she's so perky about it I don't think she'd learn her lesson anyways, and that's the scariest part.

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I have no idea what to day Alicia... but take care of yourself and don't let work or your home left get in the way of a degree

The $ is the biggest problem with the degree though.

I mean, I can correct the chemistry test and I'm pretty sure I'll pass with at least a D, but I can't afford it. And I'm pretty sure she's not coming through for me this time. I can't get any loans without a cosigner, and a cosigner has to be in state so again I'm screwed.

I guess if I took one semester off I could go back for next fall if I save up.

I have every intention of finishing it, just not as soon as I wanted to, which depresses me but I don't really know what else I can do.

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You aren't a bad child at all.

I think you need to get out of that house, though.

I agree with this, but she has her brothers to help out also, Alicia, al I can say is hang in there, I know its tough bu what can you do, I mean if you leave who would take care of your brothers?

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That does sound like a bunch of bullshit. I recommend you move out, even if it means leaving behind your brothers. Sure, they're important, but it's not like you have to spend your entire life in indentured servitude to your family.

I'm just trying to imagine what kind of shitty pay you'd have to get to not be able to afford $250 a month...

I'm super sorry, though. I hope things work out? I agree that your mom is being irresponsible and stupid. You need to concentrate on getting through school and stuff.

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Mom called me. She tested positive. She's finally thinking logically though and considering options. She's really upset though. I feel bad because she went in a few months ago for a test and supposeably was negative, so it's like she'd be quite a few months right now and she thinks it'd be unhealthy.

Personally, I just want to put a gun to my head.

Another example of why I am frustrated- She got a check for $400 from the insurance company and cashed it without a second though, but apparently that was for my doctors bill, so now I owe them $400 for something insurance would have covered, and I cannot go to my old doctor so I haven't been there in over a year, and really can't unless I find a new doctor. Once January hits though I will now have my own personal insurance, but this is $400 I'll have to some day attempt to pay to keep a decent credit rating.

In the meantime I seem to keep having more outbursts and things, and keep using things I shouldn't be to cope.

I don't really know a way I can make things better.

Robin, the way I see it is I'm already screwed. The only thing left for me to do in my life is to try and get them through a healthy life. That is the last purpose I can accomplish. And I will. I hope.

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So, here's what I would have done in your situation: leave.

Get a student loan and go to a college far away, get out of the situation that will ultimately consume you, I've seen plenty of my friends get trapped at home because their parents are idiots and pump out kids like a devout Guatemalan family. I know that it may seem like you will be leaving your younger siblings behind, but they can do the same think when they are 18, everyone has to struggle to get ahead and there is no reason you should sell your life short for someone else to live off of you.

Or, if anything else, move somewhere. I support myself right now to the fullest and just one year ago when I moved out on my own I was pretty much convinced I would come back crawling to my parents. But now, after working my ass off, getting promoted, and just put in my application for the Trenton Police (my dream is to make it to SWAT), I have 1000$ just sitting in my account right now to do whatever I like because I persevered and got away from my very, very shitty family life.

Feel free to PM me if you choose the latter, I have this whole living alone thing to a science.

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So, here's what I would have done in your situation: leave.

Get a student loan and go to a college far away, get out of the situation that will ultimately consume you, I've seen plenty of my friends get trapped at home because their parents are idiots and pump out kids like a devout Guatemalan family. I know that it may seem like you will be leaving your younger siblings behind, but they can do the same think when they are 18, everyone has to struggle to get ahead and there is no reason you should sell your life short for someone else to live off of you.

Or, if anything else, move somewhere. I support myself right now to the fullest and just one year ago when I moved out on my own I was pretty much convinced I would come back crawling to my parents. But now, after working my ass off, getting promoted, and just put in my application for the Trenton Police (my dream is to make it to SWAT), I have 1000$ just sitting in my account right now to do whatever I like because I persevered and got away from my very, very shitty family life.

Feel free to PM me if you choose the latter, I have this whole living alone thing to a science.

Hell, she could live with YOU. Also, off topic, I suggest you save that $1000 in case you need it for an emergency (unless you have a separate thing for that, and it's your "I can buy fun things" money).

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Hell, she could live with YOU. Also, off topic, I suggest you save that $1000 in case you need it for an emergency (unless you have a separate thing for that, and it's your "I can buy fun things" money).

The 1000$ is for whatever. It's money I have budgeted out of my primary expenses that won't need to be used unless my car explodes or something like that. I might usse it to put a down payment a new car, or get a huge HDTV so I put these HDMI cables to use on my 360.

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Mom called me. She tested positive. She's finally thinking logically though and considering options. She's really upset though. I feel bad because she went in a few months ago for a test and supposeably was negative, so it's like she'd be quite a few months right now and she thinks it'd be unhealthy.

Personally, I just want to put a gun to my head.

Another example of why I am frustrated- She got a check for $400 from the insurance company and cashed it without a second though, but apparently that was for my doctors bill, so now I owe them $400 for something insurance would have covered, and I cannot go to my old doctor so I haven't been there in over a year, and really can't unless I find a new doctor. Once January hits though I will now have my own personal insurance, but this is $400 I'll have to some day attempt to pay to keep a decent credit rating.

In the meantime I seem to keep having more outbursts and things, and keep using things I shouldn't be to cope.

I don't really know a way I can make things better.

Robin, the way I see it is I'm already screwed. The only thing left for me to do in my life is to try and get them through a healthy life. That is the last purpose I can accomplish. And I will. I hope.

when did you contract a terminal illness? If you haven't, then why the fuck are you talking about your last purpose? Don't get me wrong, if all you do in life is help your family, that's something great, but last purpose? When your brothers become independent, you'll still have your life, and you'll still be able to do quite a bit. Your life isn't over. your circumstances suck, but years from now you'll still be able to go back to school or start a new career or move to China and meditate on the secrets of the universe or whatever else floats your boat. That's if you want to live like that. also consider ALundra's advice, he is very wise.

You also might want to talk to your brothers and see what they have to say.

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I agree with Alundra. Get out of there, and then once you've found your own spot where you can live reasonably comfortably, go back for your brothers. You're not abandoning them if you leave. You're putting yourself in a better position to help them. They may not understand at first, but once you're out and happy, they will understand.

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I agree with Alundra. Get out of there, and then once you've found your own spot where you can live reasonably comfortably, go back for your brothers. You're not abandoning them if you leave. You're putting yourself in a better position to help them. They may not understand at first, but once you're out and happy, they will understand.

Yeah, what he said.

Maybe I can't empathize, though, because I don't have any siblings.

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As a younger brother myself, I think you two might be selling her brothers short. I doubt they'll hate her for leaving or anything, though saying you're doing it for them might not be the best approach. If you leave, honestly say that you need to get away and clear your head. The best is if you can talk to them without bringing them into the actual equation (i.e. don't say it as "I'm making this decision," whatever it is, "for your good")

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The best is if you can talk to them without bringing them into the actual equation (i.e. don't say it as "I'm making this decision," whatever it is, "for your good")

I didn't say TELL them why. I guess my post implied it; I agree with you tho. Get out, explain if you can. If you can't, then don't, and go back for them later.

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I didn't say TELL them why. I guess my post implied it; I agree with you tho. Get out, explain if you can. If you can't, then don't, and go back for them later.

I thought you were saying either don't tell them or if she does tell them, that she should tell them she's doing it for them. I think they'll probably be perceptive and have no problem with what she's doing. Basically, I think that they'll understand, which I thought it sounded like you were selling them short on.

I was suggesting that if she moves out, she do tell them, and giving my advice on what I think the best thing to tell them would be.

This is all if she decides to move out, which may be the consensus we've come to, but that means jack shit. She hasn't posted here since before Alundra's suggestion.

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