Differences in age

[Ikari Warrior]

Howdy folks, Shadowcast here again to make somethin' outta nothin'. Here's my conflict:

I got messaged out of the blue on thanksgiving day by this girl on a dating site to which I am subscribed. She is 18, I am 24. She's pretty cute, and thinks I'm cute, too. She strikes me as particularly intelligent, and also, she plays video games.

I just seem to have this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something is wrong. A few of you have read my rant about the girl who "broke my heart" (for lack of a better phrase), and she was 19. I've been repeatedly burned by this particular dating site, being messaged by all the crazies (lonely stalker types, etc). So, her being a teenaged girl (sorry folks, until you're 20, you're a teenager) from that site, given my recent experiences has raised some red flags.

It's really just the whole age gap thing. I notice the younger I go, the less in-touch I am with most of these girls. She might've been born in 1989, but she grew up in the 90s, versus me who is an 80's guy (cue pic of guy from futurama). It's amazing how six years age difference can breed a decade of cultural differences. Perhaps I'm reading too much into things?

Rereading this post, it doesn't seem like I have a point anymore, lol. So, if you all can decipher my stream-of-consciousness writing and would like to provide feedback, I'm all for it.

Thanks y'all!

[Anime Gee]

Hmmmm... Sounds like a bad idea to me. At 18, she doesn't know what the hell she wants. Trust me. People grow up & they suddenly realize that what they liked, the don't like anymore & what they didn't like, suddenly they like. At a younger age, it's all risky if you plan on dating this girl for something serious. If you plan on having some fun, why not? Just keep in mind that youngsters in their teens are very fickle.

I personally prefer girls that are 4 to 6 years younger than me, since it seems to work out better than girls closer to my age, but then again, we're talking about a girl being 26 to 28 for me. At that age, it's a very different mentality. ( ^_^)

[Ikari Warrior]

At that age, it's a very different mentality. ( ^_^)

Amen to that, my good man.

[uniform_motion]

I try to not moralize more than needed when speaking of age differences and love. When it comes to being around others though, I can't help but think there is a certain disconnect between people depending on how long they've lived. That's not to say in terms of intelligence or experience, because you can't always tie that down to any birthday passing. The fact is, it's a safe bet nonetheless.

In my personal experience, which is very little, jumping the gun with falling in love is far too easy. I also think it's more common that people enjoy the desire of love than enjoy the desired person. When you do find that person who you can enjoy more singularly than the simple desire itself I think that's when you know. My advice would be to take care, move slow and experiment every once and awhile. Life is too short to let loneliness and despair rule the day.

[The Lone Magician]

At least you don't have bone-itis. But yeah, I think I'd be kinda turned off by a six year age gap, too.

[Siendra]

From a dating site? And she's cute? Yeah - black market organ trader. She'll stick you and steal your kidneys.

Seriously, though: I don't see the problem. You never know unless you try, so I say try. What do you lose in the process?

[GummyBearOfDoom]

My dad is 83, my mom is 46. They love each other, and my dad isn't rich so it's not one of those Anna Nicole Smith deals. I don't see anything wrong with big age differences as long as both people are mature.

Also you might be getting crazy girls because you are on a dating site. Why is an 18 year old on a dating site? Aren't those for like 35-50 year olds with no hope of love?

[Natsu]

My dad is 83, my mom is 46. They love each other, and my dad isn't rich so it's not one of those Anna Nicole Smith deals. I don't see anything wrong with big age differences as long as both people are mature.

Also you might be getting crazy girls because you are on a dating site. Why is an 18 year old on a dating site? Aren't those for like 35-50 year olds with no hope of love?

What this guy said, all you can do is try, Rita is 7 years younger then me, and most women go for mature older men, so its not wrong in her part, I say give her a chance, and wow Gummy I never knew your dad was that old.

[GummyBearOfDoom]

What this guy said, all you can do is try, Rita is 7 years younger then me, and most women go for mature older men, so its not wrong in her part, I say give her a chance, and wow Gummy I never knew your dad was that old.

My dad was a b-25 gunner in WWII.

[Natsu]

My dad was a b-25 gunner in WWII.

Can I call your dad Metal?

[GummyBearOfDoom]

Can I call your dad Metal?

Sure!

[The Lone Magician]

Holy Hell, Gummy!

[Alundra]

Try to stay in your own age group, I know it may seem rediculous since younger girls are so simple to pick up nowadays. I work with a bunch of 18 year old girls and there isn't much substance to them since they are at a young age; Sure, some chicks will argue that they understood themselves at a young and and are just as muture as a twenty-blah, blah, blah, blah, right.

At your age, you're most likely coming into your own and understand your goals and aspirations, and have had to allow them to either come to fruition or set the plans in motion. Young people are just getting a grip on their lives and are so malleable that even if you start dating them, their family, friends or whathaveyou will change their minds quickly and they will jump out just as quickly as they were in. Once again, malleable.

As for personal advice, I dated a 17 year old when I was almost 21, and even that gap became too much to bridge, and we ended it because I was already world-worthy and she hadn't even stepped out of the front door of her parents house. Oh, and another thing, dating a young girl means you can't go out to bars (which blows, in my opinion), and you have to deal with her other friends.

[DreamerGirl]

I don't really think age matters, but like Gee said don't be expecting a girl who's willing to settle down right away, etc etc etc.

Connecting is important though, and if you don't feel you can connect with someone from that age group I would give them a chance to be sure, but don't try to create something that isn't there just because you want something to be there.

(Um, it makes sense in my mind.)

[Belial]

I personally don't fuck around with girls that much younger than me. They're rarely mature enough to handle any sort of relationship, serious or otherwise.

[Ikari Warrior]

I seem to be doing well with taking it slow with her. It helps that she lives over an hour away from me. We're both on the dating site because we're both pretty shy people, and it's an easy way to find people to meet. She seems sane to me, so I'm going to proceed with caution. Thank you all for your input, and I will provide updates as they become available.

[Ikari Warrior]

At least you don't have bone-itis.

I read and re-read that 10 times before I read it as "bone-itis" and not "bone-tits".

Tomorrow I have a date with her, I'm really nervous, and really excited ^o^

[Belial]

I read and re-read that 10 times before I read it as "bone-itis" and not "bone-tits".

Tomorrow I have a date with her, I'm really nervous, and really excited ^o^

Good luck.

[Nega-Brent]

My Dad is 20 years older than my mother.

[amy]

I don't think I could date someone in high school? Maybe.....like I couldn't date a sophomore. THAT IS ALL.

[Silver Cyclone]

My dad is 73 and my mum is 57. I don't personally see anything wrong with dating a younger girl. Although the youngest I have gone is 2 years younger then me. However I wouldn;t expect alot from my experience with girls younger then me. Just go in it for a bit of fun I say and don;t get your hopes up to high.

[Nega-Brent]

Even though I'm a product of one of these relationships, I still think it's kind of creepy if your Dad and your Grandfather are both old enough to remember the 60's fondly. My Dad is almost 10 years older than my Grandfather on my mother's side.

Sometimes I tease my Mom about it by asking her, "So, when Dad met Grandpa what did he say? Nice to meet you young man?"

[margot]

yeah when you're young there is a big difference even between a year or two i think.

[Nega-Brent]

yeah when you're young there is a big difference even between a year or two i think.

Nowadays, for young individuals, a year or two can mean charges of statutory rape and being labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life. Just because you're 19 and your girlfriend is 17.

[margot]

Nowadays, for young individuals, a year or two can mean charges of statutory rape and being labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life. Just because you're 19 and your girlfriend is 17.

hmm i thought there is technically supposed to be some sort of exception to the law if you're within a few years of age*

(*unless you are black and in the south)