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Accelerated Evolution

Dr. Phil


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I know the usual Dr. Phil ranting but I thought this was insane.

So a woman owns a hair salon, but she's really unassertive and shy. Basically her employees walk all over her (disrespect her, show up really late, too many sick days ect) because she won't assert herself. She goes on the Dr. Phil show and he basically tells her that she looks pathetic and unless she toughens up people are always going to walk all over her, and that "you teach people how to treat you." ect bullshit. And then it's revealed that when this woman was in first grade, her father took her out of school and locked her in a basement for years. She was obviously neglected by her parents in every possible way, and had no chance to develop social skills, or even go to school. And what's Dr. Phil's advice? Learn to assert yourself!!!

oh man.

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Dr. Phil is a douchebag, but what other advice would he really be able to give? Though I'd reccommend she go into actual therapy or something in order to cope with her childhood problems and learn to better assert herself upon others (especially those others that she's paying money).

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There are a few reasons why Dr. Phil sucks.

1. He doesn't perform well in his supposed profession (his real job is being a bastard, but that isn't recognized as an official occupation). His advise is either poorly thought out or too shallow.

alcoholic: Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, such an addict, I want to stop, but the demons within me urge me on!

Dr. Phil: Well, if you want to stop being an alcoholic, you have to stop drinking alcohol so much. *leaves to go get paycheck*

2. He has a southern drawl, which is very annoying.

3. Sometimes he has his kids on the show, and they essentially just reiterate what their father says, only in a less helpful way, if that is possible. You can tell they are ashamed of their existence, and desire to return to before birth, to stop their future, which explains why they are so attached to Dr. Phil's nuts.

4. He has O'Reilly syndrome, which means that he usually doesn't let people explain themselves much before he starts spewing out BS again.

5. He is associated with Oprah, and as we all know, Oprah is a bitch.

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Dr. Phil specs in cognitive therapy, he's good at telling people how stupid they're being and guiding them down the path of logical thought.

If you give him a person who was neglected during youth, there isn't much he can do about that.

If you give him a person who has an obsessive compulsive disorder, a sexual deviance, etc, etcelery, he can do something about it.

He is an ass for not telling people to stop thinking of him as some sort of universal fix-it guy.

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