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Accelerated Evolution
DreamerGirl

You knew this was coming

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Ok, so I lost my boyfriend. No one has any idea where he is. He was last seen getting a car ride to a car lot with his daughter.

Things were going really well. He called me everyday, and went out of his way to spend time with me. I'll be honest, the only downside was that financially it was a little different going from having someone buy me drinks every weekend who stopped once I got a boyfriend, and now when we want to go out I usually have to pay. (I guess in a way we both paid, because he would give me things in exchange, but again my money situation did a 180.)

So, I was supposed to go see him Wednesday when I got off work at 11, but when I was offered to stay I jumped at the opportunity to get a little extra money. I called him, let him know, he was fine on the phone, said he missed me and would see me soon. Then, he calls to say his roomate is taking him for a test drive in a car, and he'll call me when he's home. (Or he may have told me to call him. Either way.)

Then, he tells the roomate he's meeting up to go see his son, and gets dropped off later. Now, he's not answering anyone. Not via phone, email, myspace, anything at all. The only reason I know he's still alive and not in jail is because he logged into myspace yesterday.

I should probably explain he's a drug addict, and his roomate thinks it's possible he doesn't even know where he is (he apparently is thought to have stole a bunch of one of his roomates panic attack medicine), but I've sent 3 text messages and tried calling like 3 times. (Along with everyone else on the planet.) He's seemingly coherent enough to log into the computer (then again, I can log on and just not type or concentrate when wasted so...), but like I said he was seemingly thrilled with me and kept talking about how happy he was to have found me. His clothes, his instruments (music is his life), hell, even his daughters clothes remain untouched at his roomates. He's actually getting kicked out now because when he moved in they made him sign an agreement saying he would let them know where he was if he wasn't going to come home at night.

Obviously, I'm worried. And I'm having guilt issues over whether or not he'd be safe right now if I would have gotten there and met him when I was supposed to. I have no idea at all what happened, or why he suddenly won't talk to me, or anyone else. If it was just me, I'd know he changed his mind, but he's gone from everyone and everything seemingly. (As silly as this is, even though he's been on Myspace I'm still listed as his top friend and you'd think he'd change that too.)

:sad:

His roomate says she doesn't think he would just grab his daughter and run for it, but I'm almost questioning it. @.@ I guess I'll find out on Monday. (When the mom is supposed to get her back. If she can't get a hold of him then I'm guessing she'll call me like she has in the past.) Either way, his roomates and I kind of bonded so whenever he picks up his stuff they'll let me know. I figure I should just leave him alone now until he lets me know what's up. But yeah, it's not fun and I'd give anything to know where he is and or what is going through his mind. And this guilt thing is killing me.

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Wow, that really sucks.

I know the situation isn't the same, but my brother was a drug addict. I used to get conerned when he disappeared, ran away, etc. (he started at around 15) but after a while it just became normal. It's how some people are. There isn't much you can do about it other than try to contact him and wait.

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Yeah, I don't know what advice to give other than to wait, and try to see if you can get a hold of him. Besides doing that... it's kind of sucks... but you are pretty much helpless in this situation. Just try to not lose your mind in the process.

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It just drives me nuts he can't even send a text message that says he's alive. Everyone swears he wasn't mad at me. I just don't get it. @.@

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So apparently there was this party last night, and I swear the guy who called me was talking to my boyfriend at the same time. (I didn't answer, so I got one of those voicemails of people talking.)

"There you wanted me to. I called her."

"You might as well just hang up."

"Why did you even go over there?"

Then when I tried calling back JJ said he was too drunk to answer, but text messaged me pretty coherently. He also claimed he was all alone, which obviously wasn't true.

I could just be going that crazy though. That's the scary part. << >>

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Man, you shouldn't be dating drug addicts in the first place.

I was seriously thinking about this, but you see I seem to attract them. (Seriously, guys have walked up to me in the bar and told me what their drug of choice is.)

Coupled with the fact the only non drug addict I've dated thought I had the drug problem, and I'm basically doomed, at least for now.

I am smart enough to know if this is something he decides he is going to do often it will have to end though, because I'm way too borderline to handle it.

The phone call was enough that I sent a message saying I missed him. Even if it wasn't him on the phone, I figure it needed to be sent. (Especially since my first reaction was to be mad at him.)

I swear I have the biggest hunch he's with this friend of ours, but at the same time I know I might just decide that so I stop worrying. And by going there, it'd be like he wants to be found because we only share two mutual friends. (Well, originally. Now it's like we still do because I became friends with his roomates and they are kinda mad right now.)

I'm just going to continue screaming. << >>

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He's got to have some pretty good reason for ignoring you like that.

Personally, I wouldn't put up with that shit. If someone's going to ignore you like that without even giving you a reason why they probably either 1. don't care about you or 2. don't notice what they're doing (because they don't care about you).

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Eh, it could go both ways.

You have to realize he has no coping skills with stress, his roomate was driving him off the wall crazy with her OCD, and the boy has prodigal vagrant tattooed on him because that's literally how he's lived since he turned about 14. It'd be second nature for him to leave in that situation.

If the message I got was a conversation between him and my friend, he does care and wants to talk to me, but is ashamed? in a way over the fact he did what he did.

...And his phone is dead now so even if he wanted to he can't call me without using someone else's phone. And since I don't know anyone else who knows JJ who would want to speak to me....

Plus I told JJ I have really good weed but he can't give me a time to come over. JJ is my own personal version of Jay from Clerks so that alone is suspicious.

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Coupled with the fact the only non drug addict I've dated thought I had the drug problem, and I'm basically doomed, at least for now.

Just because you attract drug addicts doesn't mean you have to date them. You're not doomed, just impatient.

As for this guy, don't feel guilty. You didn't tell him to run off, the voices in his head did. I'm more worried about his daughter than I am about him. I hope the kids are okay...

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I can see the long start of a bad relationship beginning here. This guy sounds like a bad idea, but that's just my common sense speaking. ('_' ) ...

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He's a drug addict, run from this relationship unless you plan to ever have a future with someone drug dependent.

Well, I kinda do. o_o

He's alive. He wasn't staying with JJ but he did answer the phone when I told JJ to call him.

Now I just need to stop. And go to sleep.

Oh, and he dropped his daughter back at her mom's today like he was supposed to.

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Well, I kinda do. o_o

He's alive. He wasn't staying with JJ but he did answer the phone when I told JJ to call him.

Now I just need to stop. And go to sleep.

Oh, and he dropped his daughter back at her mom's today like he was supposed to.

Then you will deal with this and worse and most likely see some shitty things in the future.

It comes with the package.

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Well, I kinda do. o_o

He's alive. He wasn't staying with JJ but he did answer the phone when I told JJ to call him.

Now I just need to stop. And go to sleep.

Oh, and he dropped his daughter back at her mom's today like he was supposed to.

Soooooo , he still asnt made any contact with YOU, just this JJ? This guy sounds like a real piece of work , and if he is drug dependent, whos knows what might happen in the future. Maybe he will steal something of yours to feed his habit, or maybe you guys will have a good relationship, maybe buy a house or something, then maybe something drug related happens and leaves you to fend for yourself.

ps. i dont know what is about this place people hardly ever follow advice.

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Soooooo , he still asnt made any contact with YOU, just this JJ? This guy sounds like a real piece of work , and if he is drug dependent, whos knows what might happen in the future. Maybe he will steal something of yours to feed his habit, or maybe you guys will have a good relationship, maybe buy a house or something, then maybe something drug related happens and leaves you to fend for yourself.

ps. i dont know what is about this place people hardly ever follow advice.

Well, I'm assuming I've been dumped so there's no reason to really worry about my future. (Well, there probably is but not because of him.)

Some people who are drug dependent can live pretty productive lives though! I'd like to think I haven't messed up too bad. (Last year of college, promotions at a job I've had almost 4 years, etc.)

If you think about it, the great advice a lot of people are giving is the same reason I end up with addicts. Healthy people don't want to be around people who use drugs. :mellow:

On a side note, it's been so long since I was in a relationship I forgot how much it sucks to be dumped. I really should stop sleeping so much. (<-coping skill)

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Well, I'm assuming I've been dumped so there's no reason to really worry about my future. (Well, there probably is but not because of him.)

Some people who are drug dependent can live pretty productive lives though! I'd like to think I haven't messed up too bad. (Last year of college, promotions at a job I've had almost 4 years, etc.)

If you think about it, the great advice a lot of people are giving is the same reason I end up with addicts. Healthy people don't want to be around people who use drugs. :mellow:

On a side note, it's been so long since I was in a relationship I forgot how much it sucks to be dumped. I really should stop sleeping so much. (<-coping skill)

Who told you drug dependent people can lead productive? If someone is completely addicted they are going to end up in jail, with no friends or dead. That is if they stopped using it recreationally and are actually addicted or using it as a crutch.

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If you think about it, the great advice a lot of people are giving is the same reason I end up with addicts. Healthy people don't want to be around people who use drugs. :mellow:

Ok...I'm going to go out on a limb here...

And this is going to sound crazy...

Have you considered...NOT...using drugs?

Just a thought.

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Ok...I'm going to go out on a limb here...

And this is going to sound crazy...

Have you considered...NOT...using drugs?

Just a thought.

Yes. I quit, stayed clean for quite a while, and decided I didn't like it. :mellow:

I've quit everything except caffeine for at least a year. (Including alcohol.) Caffeine I only quit for a month or two, but I don't think many people even really count caffeine.

In theory I guess I'm not dependent, but unless someone has seen a true addiction they typically assume I am because I seem like I need it.

I tend to self-medicate.

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All things in moderation, eh?

Being dumped does suck. Hope you're doing okay, though. If it's any consolation, it's totally his loss.

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All things in moderation, eh?

Being dumped does suck. Hope you're doing okay, though. If it's any consolation, it's totally his loss.

Well, I just wish we could have stayed friends. I really do like him and think he's cool. He even told his roommate that if we did break up he would really hope we stay friends. (I found this out from her later.)

I called, saying I was sorry for getting all crazy the last week and that I'd still like to learn guitar, and I'd pay him for lessons or whatever and to call me, but no answer yet.

Since I don't see what I did to make him dump me, it's really weird now he doesn't even want to be friends. (Or at least still isn't talking to me.) I just cannot seem to understand it, and I'm getting really confused.

When he asked me I specifically told him we didn't need to jump into a relationship because I was worried something like this would happen. At the same time it seemed silly to say to someone, "I can't be your girlfriend because I like you too much" so I'll just never win. >_<

I need to stop thinking about the whole thing and move on but I just can't seem to. I keep figuring it will just happen again and again and how much I miss him.

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Well, I just wish we could have stayed friends. I really do like him and think he's cool. He even told his roommate that if we did break up he would really hope we stay friends. (I found this out from her later.)

I called, saying I was sorry for getting all crazy the last week and that I'd still like to learn guitar, and I'd pay him for lessons or whatever and to call me, but no answer yet.

Since I don't see what I did to make him dump me, it's really weird now he doesn't even want to be friends. (Or at least still isn't talking to me.) I just cannot seem to understand it, and I'm getting really confused.

When he asked me I specifically told him we didn't need to jump into a relationship because I was worried something like this would happen. At the same time it seemed silly to say to someone, "I can't be your girlfriend because I like you too much" so I'll just never win. >_<

I need to stop thinking about the whole thing and move on but I just can't seem to. I keep figuring it will just happen again and again and how much I miss him.

Dismiss him from your mind. People can be awesome and assholes at the same time. It's unfortunate but it's true.

Then, maybe after your feelings for him aren't so strong you could get back in touch. Who knows.

You can learn guitar elsewhere. Or teach yourself :tongue:

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Yes. I quit, stayed clean for quite a while, and decided I didn't like it. :mellow:

To each his or her own, I suppose. I'm not about to sit here and convince you to change your lifestyle. Sorry for the sarcasm.

I have an online friend that's a lot like you, and I get along with her just fine.

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