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Accelerated Evolution
Pheme

A treasure chest appears!

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*opens box*

(i role a 14 on my spot check +2 wis modifier + my +5 bonus from my "eyes of seeing stuff"), do i see anything?

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It looks like it's invisible braille only readable by moonlight.

Well shit.

How long must we wait for nightfall?!?!

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Darkness spell! You are all engulfed in darkness!

The braille says "help me! I'm trapped in this stupid box!"

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But he is invisible! And there's no moon!

Wait it just came out...

*gasp* That's no moon.

What is it?!

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But he is invisible! And there's no moon!

Wait it just came out...

*gasp* That's no moon.

What is it?!

Obviously its a Space Station.

But why?

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Oh s it's just like my dream! now the flying Raccoon and fox superhero's won't be able to fight off the oncoming pirate horde and their flyers!

the stupid young fox only went and drained their agility by a whole 5!....there uber-ice beam attacks will just bounce off the water and hit them and stop them and then they'll all fail!

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So let's see, there's a war between animal superheroes and pirates hordes on a distant planet, and the space station is seeking to destroy that planet!

Whose side are YOU on!? I think I'll join the Pirates!

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From the great imperial ship, the Leviathan, I stare down at a motley crew of pirates in their pathetic excuse for a ship. I order my crew to not even bother raising shields or charging the main cannon. Simply a volley from the side energy cannons will be enough to deal with this bunch!

*draws sword dramatically* (swords are totally practical weapons on spaceships)

Fire!

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Lucky us pirates also happen to be superhero's...*uses his uber-cool wind shooter power*...oh damn that bloody fox! *the wirlwind turnsd tail and heads back towards me*

Abandon ship!

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ha!

seems those silly pirates went and sunk themselves,

*sheaves swords (equally as dramatically as before)*

First Lieutenant, cancel the attack order, move in and take any survivors as prisoners

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A ha! it worked, now everyone jump in the invisible rocket ship and lets go plunder mars for a few minutes

"again"

Yes...again...now quit complaining and get hopping, to the mast Rabjohn!

"where is it?"

...this is why pirates and technology don't mix, take a guess Rabjohn and let the winds guide us!

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Luckily your directions brought us to sicily where we were able to stock up on ice cream, after much gorging we turned into the wind and flew; island in tow.

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*after drifting aimlessly...*

a ship towing an island?!

thats not in accordance to with imperial regulations!

First Lieutenant, stop that ship

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But the ponies were no longer living, they instantly froze as they entered space!

Yet they continued to zoom towards the chip at incalculable speed! The captain didn't make it!

The crew rushed from the cockpit just in time. As the ship slowly exploded, the survivors blasted off in an escape pod!

Where are they going to land?!!!

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