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Craigslist is the most entertaining new way to fuck with people.


Ceraziefish

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Last night, on a lark, I decided I was going to post a fake personal ad on craigslist. Here 'tis (I'm actually posting this as opposed to a link because the ad will go down in seven days and this needs to be up for POSTERITY)

Elitist hipster seeks young woman to make fun of - 23 (West Seattle)

Reply to: pers-763356014@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-07-21, 2:16AM PDT

Hello. I'm probably much cooler than you; I only smoke unfiltered cigarettes, go see artistic indie/electronica bands in small Capitol Hill venues, and hang out in coffeeshops that don't serve drip coffee.

That being said, sometimes I forget how much more laid back and interesting I am than most of humanity, and I need to be reminded now and again how normal, boring people live their lives. Think of this as slumming, if you will.

You should be around my age, at least decently pretty (though I'm not expecting good fashion sense or anything), and short. Older women will be considered, but only so I can tell you how your generation fucked up.

I imagine our meetup in lurid terms; perhaps at one of the lower-quality coffeeshops in the city (Sureshot, or maybe Cafe Fiore; you're not ready for Trabant, yet). We talk for a bit, and I chuckle at your laughable interests. Then maybe we discuss me for a bit, though I don't think you'd find me very interesting -- I really only like things that'd go over your head.

If I like you, maybe we can meet up again and have some degrading (for me, probably excellent for you) sex. During the sex, I'd probably tell you what bad taste in music you have. Who knows, it could be a beautiful, lasting thing.

Send me an email if you're interested; your pic gets mine (which will be tastefully taken by one of my artistic friends, as opposed to your more-than-likely myspace-y, taken-in-the-mirror-with-your-mom's-digital-camera "photo")

Bonus points if you're a student; I love tearing apart would-be intellectuals.

So far, I've gotten TWO responses to it; I was expecting NONE, or maybe one along the lines of 'lol.' Here's the first one, which is genuinely pretty funny, and totally in the spirit of the original joke.

Hi,

You are undoubtedly more hip and cultured than I am. I smoke commercial cigarettes (camels or marlboro 27's) and listen to well known indie and electronica like Modest Mouse and Daft Punk. I frequent a lot of Starbucks stores because they sell coffee, so it's like hanging out in a cool local coffee shop, but easier to find.

I'm 19 and cute. I shop exclusively at American Apparel, Urban Outfitters and Red Light. I like big sun glasses too. I have a tattoo of a tree and/or bird, and something interesting pierced. Like probably my nose or snake bites or something.

Some of my interests include having a pseudo-understanding of contemporary politics, but you can only ask me who I'm voting for (Obama, duh!), don't ask me anything specific. I'm also in to poetry and photography, I'll send you a link to my deviantart page if you want.

And I hope I score the bonus points, because I'm a psychology and/or philosophy and/or english major.

Now this second one is just a bit bothersome, because it's so serious. I thought I was laying it on pretty thick and making it obvious I was kidding, but this person responded with being JUST AS MUCH OF A POMPOUS DOUCHEBAG AS I WAS PRETENDING TO BE.

I'm not sure if I qualify as a candidate in your search. I am neither

normal nor boring and thus would be entirely incapable of showing you

how that particular breed chooses to live.

I am too cute for my own good or for the good of any other person for

that matter. I read big books and am obnoxious if you choose not to. I

am obnoxious if you read big books. I have rowed for 5 years and cycle

competitively... I like everything all the time. I like smoking cloves

and drinking cheap, cheap beer (see also: Canadian microbrews I know

all aobut). I will pout if you laugh at my interests and then make you

feel badly about yours. I would live off of coffee and cigarettes if

that were an option. You will be unable to tell me how much my taste

in music sucks because there is no doubt in my mind that it is better

than yours. On another note: I don't have bad sex... just superhero

sex. If you don't think you're up for it, I can understand that. Not

everyone can be a sex god(dess).

I don't know if we should actually get together because our egos might

not fit in the same room. I am, however, a student and the most

idealistic, 'naive' person you will probably ever meet. I'm fun to

play with and I like play-doh. You should e-mail me back. Now.

My photography-major friend recently took my picture and the photos

are being developed (fer serious)... she's developing them as we speak

(she's too good for digital).

Now, of course I'm not going to respond to either of these (except maybe the first one with a message like "Sorry, but you're too obviously in on the joke for me to date.") Just thought I'd share what I've been up to lately.

Although, now that I reread them again, the second one does claim to be a sex goddess; I could pretend to be a hipster for a couple days to get hella laid.

DISCUSS.

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So it seems to me that there's sort of two levels of classified ads on craigslist. There's the first, or "public" level, which are the normal ones that we all send to each other and laugh at. Then, there's a sort of spooky second level; that's the people who respond to every single ad with an ad of their own. I just got one like that.

Whassup? My names sharia, I just found your post on CL right now. To let you know about me, I?ve been 21 for a month now, and i bought my house in january. It's been difficult to find a man ever since lol!. A friend of mine met a boyfriend on craigslist, so I thought i'd try here. If you want to get to know me some more, please send me a response. Have a nice day

There's a lot of interesting sociology papers to be written about craigslist, I think. I'm not the guy to do it, but still. The group dynamics are weird. It's like there's the anonymity of the internet, but you can't go completely balls out on it like one does on 4chan since you're actually trying to meet people.

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