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Accelerated Evolution

How the hell am I supposed to move forward if the past always keep catching up with me?


Crube

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First off, I apologise for the Linkin Park esque song title as a topic title, but whatever. It seems like nowadays I regret not doing anything in the past rather than trying to make it better later in life for myself., It's always something little that makes me reminded of what it was like years, hell even months, ago. That's when I just become numb to the outside world and when someone approaches me, I just lash out at them for no reason.

I know there are some ways to cope with this, but even music makes it somewhat worse for some reason. Whenever I listen to Rush, it just takes me back to when I was happy and walking around Seattle on my own. Songs just trigger these little senses and memories. Sure, it makes me happy, but once I stop listening, I am aware of where I am and it's not as good as it is.

Whatever... Well, not saying that listening to music isn't helping. I apologise in advance that it seems like complete rambling, but I am just going on with my emotions. I like music? It helps and makes me feel good, but yeah... when I stop I just look around and realise where I am. Wait, does that make any sense to anyone? Either way... how the hell am I suppose to make myself truly happy in a situation like this?

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Crube, its nothing wrong with the title, and all Linkin Park haters can jus fucking die, like I said to you in person via phone, internet, or face to face..only you can know what truly makes you happy, I think its your family enviorment honestly you said it yourself that when you were in Seattle you were the happiest and now your back at home and miserable as ever..you don't need this shit...I think you need a push and I'm offering it.. you jus gotta take it man..and everyone loves you.

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I suppose, but it's just me trying to get on with life and stop regretting past shit. It may seem easy for others, but I am trying to get in path with what's important. I would get a job no matter what the pay was, but after awhile, I just seem to get tired of it.

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Actually, I could probably hook you up with my job if you moved back to Seattle, since I'm moving away from Seattle again. Haha!

Seriously, though, I hope things get better. It may not be much consolation that the past is over, but you can't worry about what's already happened, just deal with what's going on now. Regret can help you avoid the wrong decisions in the future, but regret for the sake of regret is not good.

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I know, it's not like I am doing it on purpose, but there would be little things during the day that conjures it up and I just sink into a slight depression. Something. And it's not that too. I haven't drove in what seems like months before I moved to Georgia and now I am going back to the whole "everyone is probably talking about me because I don't drive fast enough and by fast enough, I am not driving 20 miles over the speed limit" mindset. At least it isn't New Jersey.* I suppose I enjoyed the public transit system?

Editors Note: Not a slag against New Jersey, it is actually recorded that New Jersey has the worst drivers. Georgia came in fifth place when it comes to bad drivers.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Crube;

I want you to get over this, and I think you can.

But, I think you're not telling us something. I think something(s) is holding you back. I think you're dwelling on thing(s) that have long passed....but you haven't acknowledged or accepted them yet.

What is it/are they? Let's talk.

It's just coffee talk.

snl101myersrichman010704.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

*phoenix down*

i agree with lula. if you're not comfortable putting it on the board at least pm someone about it.

the only way i've been able to get over my past (which is medical in nature, so it's a lot different) is therapy. though i don't know or think you'd really need that. having a friend to talk to, even if they're just online is a big help. i did that for a long time.

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  • 3 weeks later...

*phoenix down*

i agree with lula. if you're not comfortable putting it on the board at least pm someone about it.

the only way i've been able to get over my past (which is medical in nature, so it's a lot different) is therapy. though i don't know or think you'd really need that. having a friend to talk to, even if they're just online is a big help. i did that for a long time.

Holy shit... I thought this thread was dead. x___x Ah, I know you're on AIM, but I wonder how to get a hold of Lula?

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