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Accelerated Evolution

Can't figure this one out

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Yeah so, I don't know why, but I've been feeling very odd for the past couple months. Problems:

No matter how much I sleep, I never feel well rested. I feel like I haven't slept at all and I'm always groggy through to the latter part of the day even if I sleep in and stuff.

I'm a very patient person, but lately things that normally are no big deal frustrate the hell out of me: Making slightly inaccurate drawings in figure drawing class, miscommunication with my girlfriend, not being able to keep my playing tight when I'm recording, not being able to find something right away, etc.

I can't concentrate very well. When I'm reading something, anything really, I tend to go through the lines and almost choose not to process what I'm reading. But I'm not thinking about anything else. Also, when I'm watching things like movies or programs I have to watch for college I just kind of stare through the TV or my monitor and subconsciously refuse to think about or process what I'm watching or what people are saying or what's going on.

I feel very stressed out and it always feels like every little thing is bothering me and it's weird because in my head I know it's not, I just react like it is.

I don't really know what's up with me and I'd really like to find out because I feel like I'm on pins and needles and that I was much happier a few months ago.

Any of this stuff sound like something specific? I don't think it's anything like depression because some things still make me feel good/happy; Spending a nice chill night at my girlfriend's house watching a movie or something, hanging out with my friends between classes, having a drawing come out really nice, playing guitars in music stores just for the hell of it, etc. Any thoughts?

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I have a few questions for you. ('_' ) ?

What are you eating?

When do you eat?

How much do you eat?

My eating habbits have not changed; I've always been picky and I don't eat large portions. I try to base my meals around their designated times: Breakfast between 7 and 10am, Lunch between noon and 3 and dinner between 6 and 8 I guess.

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Eating and sleep cycles can have a dramatic effect on depression, though it sounds like you've got that under control. Also, you may not have depression, though it sounds like you might. Being irritable is one big sign.

I'm not sure what you should do. Have you talked to anyone IRL who knows you pretty well about this? That might be a good way to get something done. If you've really changed, someone who knows you would notice.

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try new things like cooking new foods, reading new authors, try to have better sex. whenever i feel like that something happens to jolt me out of it, like a move or a job change

you can still have depression/anxiety and be happy sometimes so do not rule it out

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Perhaps you're seasonally affected? It has been Hurricane season these past couple months, and a lot of people have had their routines thrown off.

Perhaps you're anxious about something? Perhaps there's something subconsciously that you don't want to deal with, and so are avoiding it, making it worse?

I do not think you're depressed. You've been getting irritable lately at things that didn't use to bother you, but if you were depressed, I'd think you'd stop doing those things altogether. You still like to play music, you still like to draw, and you still like to be with your girl. I would think one or all of those would not apply if you were depressed.

Or perhaps you are, for lack of a better diagnosis, simply in "a funk." Perhaps no matter what you do -- or don't do -- you're just going to feel this way for a while. Then, one of two things will happen, you'll figure out why you're in a funk, and you'll feel better, or you'll never figure it out, and just start feeling better at random. This has happened to me before, though it's usually lasted no longer than a week.

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According to my doctor I have moderate depression. No idea how that works though, I've been feeling a bit better lately, but not much. He said it was because my sleep cycle has been fucked up for months and he prescribed me sleeping pills and man are they fucking me up worse than my original condition. I told him how they were making matters worse and he said to give them a few days to stabilize and if it didn't work we'd look into more stuff. Still don't think I'm depressed...

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Reading your original post it sounds like a standard case of moderate depression. I had it a few months back (although I had many panic attacks as well). I've been clear of it after I sorted out some unresolved issues in my life, like ending my relationship that wasn't going too well and resolving to work harder at school. I'm quite optimistic that I'm going to be okay from hereon in. I hope you feel better soon.

I do too, I'm so sick of being tired, irritable and being unable to concentrate. I gave my doctor my number today and told him to call me when he could because I'd like a referral to a psychologist because I don't think medication is going to do much for me.


Just got off the phone with my doctor and this is the gist of what he said:

- He wants me to try Ambien to see if that works better

- If it doesn't he wants me to look into seeing a pyschologist

- Either he or the psychologist will prescribe anti-depressants and we'll see how it goes from there.

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