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Accelerated Evolution

Transformers 2


Belial

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Spoilers. (You have been warned.)

My rant on Transformers 2.

UGH

First off, this has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

As of right now, it's worse then DragonBall Evolution.

Where do I start? First off, Optimus Prime is not this vicious blood thirsty killer he is made out to be in this film! He kills Decepticons so ruthlessly is a crock and a shame to his character.

Both the Autobots and Decepticons have almost no personality once again. They introduce plenty new robots, no of which have any sort of character whatsoever. Ugh, oh, other then the fucking twins. Do I really need to go into detail on why they fucked this movie up? They had more screen time then any other Transformer!

Devastator was a huge let down. The one scene I was looking forward to, the ONE scene where something redeeming could have happened, where Devastator eats one of the twins gets fucked up because the twins busts out of his mouth. C'mon! They had no problem killing Jazz in the first one, yet they can't even kill one of two horrible ideas that weren't even normal Autobots on the show!? Oh, also why does devastator have a pair of balls? Why do robots have balls? What the fuck good are they? WHO GREEN LIT THIS SCRIPT!?

I get that this movie is targeted for little kids. What I don't get is all the racist, toilet humor, sex, insane close ups of things kids shouldn't see, profanity stuff that floods this movie. I mean there are more dick jokes, and talk about sex then anything else.

Wasn't this movie titled, "Transformers"? Why the fuck are the humans so gawd damn important to this story. They aren't needed other then Spike and to be in the way of the Transformers when they battle. I didn't need to see John T in a thong, nor was it necessary.

Jetfire? Why does a robot have a beard? Why is he using a gawd damn cane to walk around? WHY THE FUCK CAN HE TELEPORT? Oh and good to see Optimus doesn't give a rats ass when Jetfire sacrifices himself to upgrade Optimus, which afterwords when he saves the day just discards all the extra pieces like it was nothing.

A fucking Decepticon that transforms into a human? Gawd dammit Bay!

Weed does not make you tackle people. Just NO!

Was it me or was the final battle just a rehash of the fucking desert battle against scorpinok? I mean fuck, scorpinok even came back and was fagging it up in this one during that fight too, hell he comes in JUST FOR THAT SCENE!

A Rail gun is not a super secret weapon, nor does it have that range.

This movie was two and a half hours long. It felt like more like a four hour long movie. In the end, nothing happened. Oh, Megatron is back...because they threw his body in the ocean and guarded it with US navy ships....which did jack shit when the Decepticons came to revive him. Bay really goes out of his way to make the US look real good in this film.

The Fallen was a complete waste of time. At first I thought he was a Quinteson, but then reality smacked me in the head and I realized that Bay has never once watched or read anything involving Transformers.

The slow motion in this film killed me. It was not needed and just made the slow segments of this film seem even slower. Oh,I am mostly talking about the scene where spike has to get the matrix back to Prime to revive him so Prime can save the world. (because only (a) Prime can kill the Fallen....(lol wut?)) In this scene spike starts off pretty close to Prime...yet somehow....the scene gets dragged on for almost an hour where Spike and hot ass Megan Fox (who should be in porn...) are running toward Prime who must be magically getting farther and farther away from them... (Hey, it's the desert, they could have been hallucinating!)

Yeah, so they kill off Prime in this film, but he comes back. No movie will ever be able to recreate his amazing death form the cartoon flick. His death wasn't even sad. It was just poorly done, and the scene made no gawd damn sense. He chases Megatron with all his Autobots right behind him. (This includes Sideswipe, a corvette and prime is a big rig semi-truck...) yet, somehow he manages to out speed them all and fight against 5-6 Decepticons by himself......UGH.

You know what, this movie sucked and it's going to gross a ton of movie beating out a good film like Star Trek which disappoints me.

Also, what the fuck is up with people clapping in the middle, or at the end of movies? What the fuck is wrong with America?

Fuck this movie and fuck you Bay. The sad thing is, is I will prolly still go to see part 3 cause I am such a whore for the franchise....

>_> (I could keep going on, but I don't like to go to sleep pissed off. lol)

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