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Accelerated Evolution

My situation. version2.0


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So, i think you all know my situation that i had been in for the last year. I moved in with my girlfriend AFTER we broke up . This was a stupid move on my part. Mistake of my life. Regardless, i moved in , things progressed, i heard her sleep with a few guys many other things. Through all this i still wanted to be with her, and i slept in her bed with her everychance i could(nothing is better than sleeping with a woman).

For all intensive purposes i still loved her no matter what. After about 9 months of my sleeping with her in bed and having sex with her , she started to say she was getting feelings for me again. Shit was good for a few weeks. She was telling me she loved me and i was saying it back. We were a couple that wasnt dating. Wierd wierd situation.

Soon though she started to like her friends brother. And she slept with him, i gave her many chances to tell me , but she kept lying about it. I found out when he bragged to one of my friends about it. She finally admitted it. At that moment i decided that i had had enough and was gonna try and move on, but i still kept sleeping with her from december till now. After she slept with the guy she said she realized she is missing out on me and that i am a great person. She said she was falling back in love with me. So I still told her i loved her and kissed her and all that. But little by little i was moving away from her. I wasnt feeling what she was feeling .

Last night i told her i had decided that i didnt want to be with her, i said that i didnt want her getting attached to me. I said i love her more that life itself but we werent meant for each other. We fight too much and i think i would not be happy with my life if i kept on this path. I still want to talk to her cause for she is my best friend. To this she started to cry. And i feel terrible because i dont like hurting people, especially her, she is one thing i hold closest to my heart. I told her this at the bar by the way. I just can help but feel bad that i led her on . If i could take back the last year i would. I dotn care how much she has hurt me, i just never wanted to hurt her like that.

Anyway this post didnt really have a moral , but i just really need to get that off my chest , and for the most part i do consider you guys friends. Darcie and Jorda(if your lurking) i would really appreciate if you didnt tell this to anyone outside of the board. Its a private thing and am easily embarrassed of my weakness.

Ps: i dont care about my grammar errors.

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good for you. it sounds like you're finally doing what is best for you.

there aren't too many people out there that i am attracted to, let alone that i end up connecting with, so i can understand your continuous wanting to be with her. and yes, i do know what that feels like. its easy to fall back into familiar arms. i hope this change is for the better (not sure how it wouldn't)

tl;dr: KUDOS!

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Ahhh, wow. That post post me cry. It just sounds familiar and stuff.

Sigh. I am glad that you are moving on though. It's for the best that you follow your heart.

Don't worry; I don't talk about things. Nathan reads the odd thing, too, but we keep it to ourselves.

Well i am kinda lying to myself. After mulling over it today , i do want to be with her, but i want to experience what other people are like as well. But at the same time, i am trying to find a job out of town and i dont want to do a long distance relationship. It would only hurt her more and i figure if i look like an asshole by pushing her away then she wont be as hurt. I think that is what my brain is trying to tell me.

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That is one weird relationship there. Call me old fashioned or whatever, but I don't share my woman & if I found out that my woman was with another man, it's pretty much over. I guess I'm too old & have to much dignity to be dealing with shit like that.

Well young man! You pretty much did the right thing. Yeap! I can pretty much tell you that you feel like you totally need her, but in reality you don't. No person should have to put up with crap like that. I don't know how you did it, but you did. Now that you seem to be getting older, you are realizing what you want & what you don't want. Don't worry about hurting her feelings for now. Look at all the things she did to you & all the shit she put you through. Speak the truth! If you don't want to be with her, then tell her. Life is a bitch & always full of unfairness. One will not always want to hear what one wants to hear, so one has to learn how to fucking deal with it.

So yeah! Time to move on, get a job, & try someone new out! I want to hear what happens. ( ^o^)/

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Yeah, Dev, I think you're right in trying to see what other people are like. I feel that if you patched things up with her, it would still be really hard to work out all the kinks. So much has gone on between the two of you, and I think that there would be a ton or resentment in your relationship. But I also don't know anything about you two as a couple, so it's hard for me to gauge it all. Just by my experience, once you part ways for an extended period of time, you both do shitty things to each other that you will never forget/forgive.

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