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Accelerated Evolution

Alone


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This is sort of a realization, but I am gonna post it in it's own thread because I feel this has a lot to it.

I am beginning to realize how alone I really am. I'm not trying to sound all emo on you guys but I really am.

My dad died when I was 6. My brother moved out last October.

My mom never lets me hang out with friends. (And I'm sick of trying to change that)

I went to my brother's house this weekend and even though during the night time all we did was mess around on computers and watch TV it was still better than sitting in front of this computer at home with no one.

Also, it's summer break now. I won't see my friends for 2months.

I'm just...What I'm trying to ask is, is there any way for me to not feel so alone? It really hit me today when I had to go back home from my brother's. I play WoW so the only "people" I talk to each day are on there.

I have no one to talk to except my grandmother. As much as I love her, I still want someone else to talk with. I have no one even remotely close to my age around me in my life.

It's not that I don't have friends. I do have quite a bit of them, it's just I never can go anywhere with them outside of school, and no I will not explain that whole situation.

I really do regret being such a prick to my brother in the last few months he lived here. I literally threw a peanut jar at him once because I was so angry with him.

Why am I so stupid? I never look ahead and think wow, my only brother is about to move out and I won't see him again except 2-3 times out of the year.

I have not cried in a long time but as I type this I'm tearing up.

Apparently it took me from October until now to realize this. He's gone.

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Uhm yeah.

Tell your brother to be a gawd damn brother and hang out with you.

lol

He lives 45 min-1 hour away and it's a really big hassle for him to come up here and get me, bring me down to his house, then take me back.

He's taking off a week during the summer and I'm staying with him then, atleast.

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