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Famn Damily

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As most of you are familiar with, my parents and I have a bit of a hard time getting along.

I went out to their house tonight because I needed to pick up my bike lock. I've been having a really tough time with money the last few months, and my parents are aware of this. I haven't been able to get out to their house for a few months because I can't afford the gas that it takes to make the drive, as pathetic as that sounds. I used to ride an old red bike that my mom gave me last year. The brakes gave out, and since then, it's been out at their property under the deck. My dad was supposed to fix it for me, but never got around to it. Once the snow melted, I explained to my parents that I was hoping to get it fixed up because I needed a bike to get around, as driving was not an option. My dad once again said he'd fix it up for me. He didn't, and the weeks went by. My bus pass expired and I couldn't afford a new one, so I was walking and scrounging rides when I could, thought it's a pretty shitty walk to work from where I live.

Someone at work gave me a bike a few weeks ago. It's in pretty rough shape. The chain catches all the time, especially when I'm biking uphill, which is the ENTIRE way home for me, and therefore making it impossible to get going, and only one gear works. Not the best bike, but it was free and I figured it would work in the meantime until my dad fixed up my other bike. Tonight, my mom was walking me around the house, going on and on about this and that, and I told her that I needed to get my lock off the bike because I couldn't go anywhere on my bike without a lock. She was like "Ohh, right, that piece of garbage you've acquired. . . Your dad and I just bought two brand new bikes, worth a grand or so. They're pretty nice. One for each of us! We just gave one to your sister. You know, so she can bike around in her free time."

I know it doesn't sound like a huge deal, but I was so shocked that my mom didn't even think about what she just said. We've been talking for weeks about how I need a bike, and how they'd figure it out for me, and not to worry, and then they go and buy two bikes, and randomly give one to my sister. I just felt hurt. They always give her money and buy her everything she needs when she comes to town. I live in the same city as them, but they never help me. They know that I've been in bad shape, and the bike was the number one issue I was having. She even acknowledged that I was using a shitty bike, and I am certain that for those of you who bike a lot, you know that it's really tough when you have a crappy bike. It's worse than having a crappy car.

I am just frustrated and hurt. It's one of those situations where things add up. I feel like my parents never think about me unless I'm screaming in their face. I realized tonight that when I'm talking to my mom, I talk so fast because I'm afraid that I'm running out of time and losing her attention.

I guess it's stupid that this is all about a bike. But in a way, it just reminded me of the bigger issue. I just needed to get it out.

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