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Accelerated Evolution

My trip to New York

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This past week I travelled to the land of New York to visit a friend of mine attending SUNY @ Oswego. Rather than blowing money on a plane ticket, I decided to drive up. This proved entertaining, at least.

I first passed through Virginia. I'm no stranger to these part as much of my family is from there but it's always fun to drive through the mountainous regions of the state and feel the cool, misty air on your face. It smells like the outside ought to smell, like trees and fog. The temperature took a stark drop from NC as it wasn't nearly as hot and even less humid. Unless you go to Roanoke, Richmond, or Jacksonville there really isn't much to see or do in VA that isn't related to how pleasant the natural surroundings are... and they are. Lush, green fields; roads bisecting mountains and exposing their stratified insides; and most of all realizing that nature isn't really as fucked as we make it out to be. Also, every city is named after some guy and they just attached "ville" or "ton" to the end.

VA was one of the largest states I traversed in my journey so it gets its own paragraph. Soon (if 4+ hours is soon) I entered Maryland. It wasn't really that different besides being more crowded with vehicles, being flat, and having more restaurants. I stopped traffic and pissed off some people to save an alligator snapping turtle from merging without looking. He'll thank me for it later. This is where I then crossed the Mason-Dixon line. I was now, officially, in yankee territory. This led me to West Virginia for a short while. Nothing fascinating but at least I wasn't raped by hillbillies.

This brings me to the next state on my trek... Pennsylvania. I haven't had much luck with Penn considering the last time I went, I had my stereo stolen in Philly. They call it the "City of brotherly love" and apparently some brother really loved my fucking stereo... that was in a lock car... in a guarded parking deck... at and upscale hotel. Not to mention it was one of the dirtiest cities I've ever been in, but I digress. I wasn't even going near philly, so i thought I could relax. I was wrong. Aside from having one of the most terse and snotty people working at the WELCOME CENTER, I couldn't go ten miles without running into road construction. It was during one of the extended, involuntary pauses from driving that I noticed this state looked kind of familiar but not. It reminded of VA but if VA had gone all Silent Hill and shit. The road still passed through mountains but they were ugly and covered in trash or car parts. There were lush, green fields with obnoxiously vulgar burgs sitting right in the middle of them. Worst of all, I believe every skunk in the state had been run over ON PURPOSE, just in time for my arrival. Pennsylvania is a dull, wretched state devoid of any beauty it probably had during the years of colonization. If it weren't for the historical value, I can't imagine a reason why anyone would go there. It didn't help that this was the OTHER big state I had to drive through.

Good thing I eventually came to New York (which is something I'd never thought I'd say). The City aside, it is a lovely state with tons of rivers and scenic lakes. I may not be able to find a Dr. Pepper in a restaurant but it wasn't horrible. My trip was mostly over. All I had to do was get to Oswego. For those of you who don't know, Oswego is a small town located on Lake Ontario at the northern border of the state. It reminded me of my home in Concord... except with a nightlife and bars. Some of college crowd filters in, though, which is where you get the tattoo parlors from but it's all good. First, I decided to get all the tourist-y shit out of the way so I went to Fort Ontario which would make a good place to hide out during a zombie outbreak. After that, I hit the bars, got in some fishing, and went boating for a bit. I noticed that this little town had alot of places to perpetrate deviant acts in public and not get caught. Hell, I could've probably had sex in the fort if I wanted to but I decided to relax since I was technically on vacation. I also spent the whole time not driving anywhere, mostly because I didn't have to. I love pedestrian based towns. I thought to myself often that this north isn't so bad. It's not the rude, asshole city dwellers I was led to believe. Sure there were alot of italians but at least their women are hot. I could fucking live there, I thought. now if you could just do something about Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

On my way out, I stopped by one of the few Tim Hortons to migrate out of Canada. It was pretty crap. You've gotta give me something a little more convincing than that if you want me to visit you.

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