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The Masterplan

If it's legal, don't fucking talk to me about it.

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Seems like this is the only place I ever fucking post anymore, but here goes:

I just got a knock on the door from a police officer. He handed me a notice that said I have to move my car. It reads as follows:

"Your 1989 Buick Centry must be moved within 24 hours or same will be towed for willful abandonment."

Here's the thing, the car has two flat tires and I don't use it because I currently do not have my license. Regardless of my circumstance, let's take a look at my abandoned vehicle:

Photo0066.jpg

Attached is a picture of my car. Yeah, it's a piece of crap, but does it look abandoned? No. Is it parked illegally? No. It is nowhere near a stop sign, fire hydrant nor is there any type of limited parking/no parking signs, etc. It is parked legally, has tags, insurance, registration and has plates. What the fuck? Some jerkoff who lives on that cross street is probably just bored out of his ass sitting at home and has nothing better to do than to waste the police's time with petty bullshit and inconvenience me to move it. The cop wouldn't tell me who the fuck reported it cause he knows if he did I'd probably walk down their and kick his shit in and then call them back to clean him up.

What really pissed me off was the cop's attitude. The dialogue went something like this:

Me: So, what's the problem?

Cop: Well someone complained about your vehicle being abandoned and if you don't move it within 24 hours, we'll have to tow it.

Me: That's preposterous. The car has plates, I have the registration and insurance on hand AND it is posted in both my windshields, front and back. Beyond that, it is perfectly legally parked: It's not near a hydrant, it's practically a mile away from the stop sign, what's the real issue here?

Cop: Well you know it's a piece of crap and it has two flats. I mean, stupid stuff bothers people. Maybe if it was a nice jag sitting there...

Me: What does that have to do with anything? LAWFULLY SPEAKING it is PERFECTLY LEGAL to exist where it is in the way that it is.

Cop: [bullshitting about how he can't do anything about it]

Me: Whatever, thanks I guess.

So I'm calling the fucking police back and complaining about someone complaining about nothing.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE JESUS CHRIST. IF YOU'RE SO GOD DAMNED BORED GO DO SOMETHING. MY CAR IS NOT BOTHERING YOU, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY IT LOOKS CLOSE YOUR FUCKING BLINDS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCKS.

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move it 100 feet. They cant do anything. Its been moved, and proved that it is no abandoned. And for the record, you can get flat tires fixed for free.

this. they cant do shit about it.

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Friend of mine suggested the same thing. I was thinking of leaving it in the same spot parked in the reverse direction 10 feet back from where it is now just for the lulz.

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Well, how long has it been there? After a few weeks I would probably assume a car with multiple flat tires that never moves and isn't parked immediately in front of someones home is abandoned too.

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Well, how long has it been there? After a few weeks I would probably assume a car with multiple flat tires that never moves and isn't parked immediately in front of someones home is abandoned too.

Last time I checked people aren't supposed to live in parks tennis courts. Across the street from that is a warehouse...the side of a warehouse...as in there are no doors near where I was parked.

Anyway, I switched my tires out and moved it back a bit, but it's only a matter of time before it fucking happens again.

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Cops are just doing their jobs, i bet that this kind of stuff annoys them too. you would have to be a real sadist to go through the trouble of becoming a cop just to bitch at people about moving their cars.

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Cops are just doing their jobs, i bet that this kind of stuff annoys them too. you would have to be a real sadist to go through the trouble of becoming a cop just to bitch at people about moving their cars.

Exactly, i am sure when they joined the force this wasnt the stuff they imagined.

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