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Accelerated Evolution

Your Evil Plan


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Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first blackmail a wealthy heiress. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, horrified by your arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a corporate suit?

Stage Two

Next, you must contaminate/poison the pacific ocean. This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of the undead hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must covertly move your time machine, bringing about a 1984 police state. Your name shall become synonymous with insanity, and no man will ever again dare steal your woman. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to erect a gigantic statue of you.

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Not sure I did it right....

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a pope. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, alarmed by your arrival. Who is this really bad guy? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of the grand canyon. This will all be done from a fake mountain, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will fall into catatonic trances, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must tauntingly wave your time machine, bringing about a 1984 police state. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your extraordinary charisma, and the world will have no choice but to fall madly in love with you.

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Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Mom never loved me

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first devour a pope. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, horrified by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good wearing the skin of another human?

Stage Two

Next, you must vaporize the moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of the religious right hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must covertly move your opening of the seven seals, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. Your name shall become synonymous with metal, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your extraordinary charisma, and the world will have no choice but to whisper your name in fear.

YOU HEARD ME! GAY PROM! WOO!

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Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first devour a pope. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, paralyzed by your arrival. Who is this unholy menace? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must desecrate new york. This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must demonstrate your arcane ritual, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. Your name shall become synonymous with insanity, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your mystical abilities, and the world will have no choice but to lavish endless praise on your misdeeds.

oh fuck

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haha. wie5rd little plan

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Hatred for all mankind

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first devour a pope. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, amazed by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good wearing the skin of another human?

Stage Two

Next, you must destroy the white house. This will all be done from a air fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must activate your thermonuclear missiles, bringing about the apocalypse. Your name shall become synonymous with dear god no, and no man will ever again dare beat you up. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.

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Your objective is simple: Criminal Activities.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a superman. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, stunned by your arrival. Who is this criminal mastermind? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of mt. rushmore. This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of classic thugs hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must covertly move your corporate takeover, bringing about the apocalypse. Your name shall become synonymous with fear, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your supreme might, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

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Your objective is simple: Criminal Activities.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a superman. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, stunned by your arrival. Who is this criminal mastermind? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of mt. rushmore. This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of classic thugs hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must covertly move your corporate takeover, bringing about the apocalypse. Your name shall become synonymous with fear, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your supreme might, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

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Superman shouldn't be in this list. he's pretty much been through all of those and live through it. he'd probably be the one to stop your evil plan too.

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first traumatize a diplomat. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an intelligence transferred into a computer?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of the internet. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will lose their minds, as countless hordes of the religious right hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must unleash your plague of doom, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with insanity, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to whisper your name in fear.

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CTHULHU FTAGN!

Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first kidnap a chosen one. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, horrified by your arrival. Who is this demented madman? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good wearing the skin of another human?

Stage Two

Next, you must obliterate the pyramids of giza. This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of the undead hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must release your great supernatural forces, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. Your name shall become synonymous with horror, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to elect you dictator for life.

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And another one for shits and giggles.

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a rock star. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, paralyzed by your arrival. Who is this ripe bastard? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two

Next, you must desecrate that opera house in sydney. This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must unleash your opening of the seven seals, bringing about something that's really metal. Your name shall become synonymous with metal, and no man will ever again dare sabotage your music career. Everyone will bow before your incredible power, and the world will have no choice but to make you their new god.

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Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first clone a famous actor/actress. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, confused by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?

Stage Two

Next, you must smash the eiffel tower. This will all be done from a island of mu, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will fall into catatonic trances, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must prepare your arcane ritual, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with the spice girls, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your extraordinary charisma, and the world will have no choice but to lavish endless praise on your misdeeds.

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Your objective is simple: Criminal Activities.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a superman. This will cause the world to realize something is wrong, stunned by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two

Next, you must obliterate the statue of liberty. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will faint, as countless hordes of winged monkeys hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must covertly move your time machine, bringing about a 1984 police state. Your name shall become synonymous with nightmares, and no man will ever again dare point and laugh. Everyone will bow before your dashing good looks, and the world will have no choice but to make you their new god.

Evil Winged Monkeys for thy fucking win.

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