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I've been making quite a few changes in my life recently. i've eating a bit healthier and exercising again. and i've come out of my shell more and more over the last few years. also cutting down on smoking and starting to use oh so tasty snus. but the biggest change is still yet to come

i've known it for almost 7 years now but only recently have been facing it head on. and its the scariest thing i've ever had to do. But i was sick of spending most of my time depressed. i'm glad i managed to face it while i'm still fairly young but it sucks i didn't do it back when i was 17 when the process would have been easier. I've never really been happy with who i am. i look in the mirror and wonder why i have a flat chest and why i have body hair everywhere*perverts i don't look at the thing between my legs :awesome: *. for the past 7 years i've known i didn't want to be a dude but it scared me of what people would think, would i look good, etc so i tried to lock it up and ignore it. i knew deep down it wouldn't work and it didn't

so there it is. its partially in the open now. feels good to get it out but the road is just beginning. gotta lose the rest of my extra weight, see a doc, get on an hrt program and wait many years

so here's to new beginnings and getting back on track to living life happily for once. and thanks for listening to my little vent :crube:

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Glad you're able to figure your shit out. I know it ain't much from an internet stranger but I fully support you in yer decision. Like Belial said, best of luck, and fuck the haters.

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as Belial and CF have said it's great that you've been able to figure all this stuff out. Good luck with all this, hope it all goes well for you.

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some updates on the main front

took the dive and phoned up the local Gender Identity team

Had 2 sessions *and i feel great now* got hooked up with a local group that will help me through everything. gotta set up a meeting with the head of the program or something. and when i feel comfortable they have a weekly group meeting for transgendered youth *14-25* so i can see and meet others, in person, that are going through the same thing as i am

and after much badgering on my part i managed to finally convince them i don't need antidepressants just finally taking all the steps is getting rid of it as we speak

feels good mang. I've been on a happy high for the past 2 days and it feels great. also feels weird being truly happy for the first time in almost 7 years

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damn, canada must be the shit.

i dont get shit for health care, gotta deal with junkies all the time, broke as shit etc etc.

Thats awesome that the state accomodates all that!

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damn, canada must be the shit.

i dont get shit for health care, gotta deal with junkies all the time, broke as shit etc etc.

Thats awesome that the state accomodates all that!

broke as shits my middle name half the time.haha

i still gotta pay for the drugs though i believe. cause i doubt my company benefits will cover something like that. mental health was scary my first visit. I was the only person in the waiting room that wasn't withdrawing really badly

and i guess canada is the shit. even the local safe spaces group*the group i mentioned* is run by interior health. a government health agency

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