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winterlong

Advice?

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This isn't really me bitching about my problems, I just want to hear some thoughts or advice for my situation.

I broke up with my boyfriend about 4 months ago now. I had to move to a different area, away from friends, and leave my dog with him. Some of my good friends moved into our house with him, which kind of puts me out of the loop. We're getting along, but I've been keeping my distance so I don't complicate or upset him and anyone else. I've been forced to reach out to other groups of friends. A lot of my friends are in their 30's, especially the ones that I have recently been involved with. This has led me to posting this topic.

I'm not ready to date, but I have been catching the attention of some older men. I don't understand why, but I've always had a problem with it. Most of the females my age brush off older men because they think it's creepy, but I've never done that, and I guess it's the problem. I've gotten pretty close with a few guys who are 35-41. Appropriately close! Just very good friends, but the issue is that some people think it's weird, and now these older guys have developed feelings for me. I've been honest with them, but I don't know how it got to this point. I guess the issue is that these guys are the exact type of person I would be friends with and date in a flash. . . if they were younger. It's not like I wouldn't be able to bring them around my friends and hang out, because they are in my group of friends.

I guess it's like. . . what if I take a chance with one, and it works out really well? My parents would flip if they knew I was out at the park with my older boyfriend and his kid, or riding on the back of a motorcycle with another. Is this all a bad idea? I worry it's against my better judgement to get involved. I'm really lonely. I don't see a lot of my friends and I live by myself. I've made really good friends with these guys and now I'm about to lose them because? I'm scared? I'm not ready? I don't know.

What's your opinion on the blatant age gap? How would you react? Do you think it's creepy? Am I in over my head?

I just don't really have anyone else to ask.

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As a younger single guy part of me hates to see older guys with younger women. But realistically, who cares these days. A gal I knew back in high school is dating (and as far as I can see will most likely marry) 35-40 something cop with two kids. She's happy. And probably not one to care too much about what say my opinion might be about it. The thing is you've probably already made up your mind about the situation to some extent before posting this. You either find it weird or you don't. Just don't go after the guy with the van full of puppies.

Oh yeah personal opinion: JUST BECAUSE "VINTAGE" IS IN, DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS TO BE "IN" YOU.

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I guess the real question is, what do you have to lose by taking a shot? Your parents will flip out, but would it be along term thing with repercussions or would it just be awkward for awhile?

It sounds like you want to. If you think you can be happy, then I think it's worth the personal investment.

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My advice would be do what makes you happy, never worry about it, my dad and my mom took so much heat for it early on but now people are fine with it. My family is so weird and we all have odd perspectives on literally everything due to the family being as it is.

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Wow, thanks guys. Definitely gives me some perspective.

Honestly? I'm kind of afraid of being intimate with someone different, age aside. I don't. . . get around a lot, never have. And now it seems I have options, and I'm afraid. I am THE most awkward person most people encounter, and that's what they like about me. Except when it comes to the awkward face I make when someone tries to kiss me.

I think you guys are right. I mean, it doesn't bother me at all, the age thing. I think what bothers me is having to be with someone new.

All of you said something that made me think. Yes, even SC. Ha ha.

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most people that judge young girls with older men assume that they're dating them for either money or because the girl has some dad complex.

long as you aren't pursuing a relationship based on those things, you shouldn't worry about it as much. if you base decisions around the emotional response from others you'll never be able to be truly happy. besides, if they don't bitch at you for one thing it's bound to be another down the line.

but above all, don't do it just because of this,

I'm really lonely.

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Har har har, Belial!

And Coffee, yeah, my loneliness is why I'm saying I'm not ready to date. I'm such a baby these days. I get so sad when I spend days and days alone and it's pathetic. I'm trying to straighten out my life before I ruin someone else's.

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Carmine... thats great that your parents are like that... and Darcie you gotta do what makes you happy and damn everyone else...even your parents because you live your life.. and they don't.. all I can give on the advice tip is jus be careful for some guys.. because they like to take advantage of young girls.. and nothing pisses me off more then that.

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MORALITY SMOTHERS HAPPINESS!

do whatever you want, if you are sure its the right decision im sure you'll feel even better about it when you have to stand up for yourself.

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