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The passing of one of our members

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Now, to get back to this threads actual purpose.

Over the years I kept a log of some of the best things said on AE. Let's get away from this argument and Amy's last year and remember the good things.

http://www.accelerated-e.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=1109&view=findpost&p=180858

What! I, um *runs away*

on im today dorkon was talking about some guy who didn't know anything about Prussia, and I was like "ha ha ha, what a cheeseball", but I didn't even know what Prussia was xD

buki needs someone a little less GPS

though I <3 GPS

XD on neopets everyone gets popular by giving out unbuyables so people can get the avatar but i'm way too slow let me tell you.

Blue Kool-Aid 4/5 would have been less because it tastes like medicine, but I like the taste of medicine and it MAKES YOUR TONGUE BL00!

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They're pronounced differently in Klingon

practical weaponry is like a GUN.

It started when GPS was like "I'm going to write a book about Time Travel" and vampy explained how idiotic a book that would be "Today I traveled back in time. It was cool." and now whenever anyone says Time Travel you think back to that and each time someone says it, they think back to all the past Time Travel Times, so it gets funnier each moment, I just added about 4 Funny Points by saying Time Travel in this post

whenever I spend more than 3 hours on AE I leave with the clear impression that I am really annoying, I don't know how Crube stands it.

"I KNOW THE CROAKING CHORUS FROM THE FROGS OF ARISTOPHANES"

wait i can't remember if ive got the latin meaning of manipulate right in my head

the dinosaur is upstairs though daaaaang and by dinosaur i mean dictionary

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I didn't watch her cam4. It made me uncomfortable.

I agree. We all loved Amy and to be bickering like this isn't right. She died. Let's remember her for the good things.

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i did fucking tell people, and i wasn't expecting anyone to play "facebook detective", because i said i wasn't attacking anyone here. i just assumed people already knew because it was out there, that's all.

don't blame me for not being in the clique here. Britney was the one who brought this to brian, and then he spread it to everyone else.

Britney hasn't even posted here, and i assume it's for the same reason i wasn't ever going to post in here.

?...Keira... Brit didn't tell me anything.. I found the page on my own whim..because I had a wild hair up my ass thinking about old members from the past.. and I did a search on her name and found it...I honestly didn't mean to turn this into a bashing thread of any sort.. and you know that I care about everyone the same no matter what with the exception of I dunno Brent:-p..but on a serious note.. Crube was the first person i told.. and I posted in RT about it after that.

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I'm not gonna pretend that I was incredibly close to Amy and we were best friends or even if we got on as much as we used to when we were both young (we rarely talked then). But no matter what it is always sad when someone dies/takes their own life.

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?...Keira... Brit didn't tell me anything.. I found the page on my own whim..because I had a wild hair up my ass thinking about old members from the past.

then i've been misinformed by who sent what to who originally a few days ago. i only know who i told, and he doesn't come around here much anymore, neither do the other two people.

either way, i'm done with this. i make one comment about it angers me that stuff was brought up in here, not that i was attacking anyone, yet immediately get attacked for it. i've said my peace.

the only thing i'll say about amy is that i've sent most of her friends that i know condolence messages and flowers to be delivered to one. everything else i've already said.

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I decided to track her down early this summer, I hadn't heard from her for so long that I was scared and wanted to see if she was alright. Nothing of her is left online. Facebook was gone. Her livejournal was dead so I sent her a simple email that just said "call me" and my phone number. She did. She sounded awful, as I said above. Her short term memory was apparently gone and she barely remembered events on AE when I mentioned them. She told me she wanted drugs, I forget why even though I know I asked her. It was an awkward and disturbing conversation filled with long awkward pauses and I regretted making it at the time. She might have even mentioned suicide. I don't remember. She just kept talking about wanting drugs. But she was happy to hear from me. Happy that someone form the old days wasn't mad at her. I insisted that everyone on AE missed her and she should come back. After we talked she even made a comment on my youtube page, but that was the last I heard from her.

The person I talked to that day wasn't the Amy I remembered. It is scary to think that someone can change that much in such a short amount of time, Jesus, that was only a month before she killed herself. Maybe I should have done more... I was just so disturbed by the way she acted. God damn it!

This actually made me Cry a bit. I was not really close per say to Amy, but A-E was I think for a number of years a rather close knit online community as a whole. I don't think I can't even begin to count the number of times I was eager to get out of class / work and get on the forums and post or Skype. Quite a few times Amy was the able to make my bad days good with her posts and that will always be in my memory. I guess the part that really saddens me is what happened to that Amy and what made the person we all knew in some capacity change into this. It's not just that it's also the end result, which was her suicide itself that really upsets me.

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So, I was going around with the random thoughts podcast threads and this one came up.

Did we ever have a podcast with her?

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I saw some sad Facebook updates that were kind of vague in details, but I got the sense that someone from A-E passed away or was hurt. Shocked to learn it was Amy, she was always very nice.

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I decided to track her down early this summer, I hadn't heard from her for so long that I was scared and wanted to see if she was alright. Nothing of her is left online. Facebook was gone. Her livejournal was dead so I sent her a simple email that just said "call me" and my phone number. She did. She sounded awful, as I said above. Her short term memory was apparently gone and she barely remembered events on AE when I mentioned them. She told me she wanted drugs, I forget why even though I know I asked her. It was an awkward and disturbing conversation filled with long awkward pauses and I regretted making it at the time. She might have even mentioned suicide. I don't remember. She just kept talking about wanting drugs. But she was happy to hear from me. Happy that someone form the old days wasn't mad at her. I insisted that everyone on AE missed her and she should come back. After we talked she even made a comment on my youtube page, but that was the last I heard from her.

The person I talked to that day wasn't the Amy I remembered. It is scary to think that someone can change that much in such a short amount of time, Jesus, that was only a month before she killed herself. Maybe I should have done more... I was just so disturbed by the way she acted. God damn it!

Fuck, man.

Thanks for sharing that at least. I wish there was something that I could have done, too. But ultimately I don't see what we could've done.

I'm not touching that argument, but I thought of myself as fairly close to Amy, at least as close as internet people can really be (which, as I've found out in the hours since finding out about what happened, is fairly close, judging by how much it affected my emotions). There was awhile in 2007 where we were constantly emailing each other and talking on the phone about all kinds of stuff. I reread some of my old emails from back then and we had a really long extended conversation about the existence of God. Amy was humble, but she was also really smart.

The last time I talked to her was some random emails we exchanged debating Israel/Palestine... We fell out of contact after that but I never stopped caring about her and wishing her the best. I always hoped that I would get to talk with her again; occasionally I would send her an email but I don't think any of them got responses.

She was one of the sweetest and most genuine people I've ever met.

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Hello all,

I just got a facebook message from Baltar letting me know what happened.

I'm really at a loss for words. After I got the email, I was just kind of in shock, but then I went to my bookshelf and got the copy of Seamus Heaney's "Beowulf" (it has the old english and modern translation side by side) that she had sent me back in 05/06. I don't know what to say to you all, so I'll just copy down the inscription she put on the inside cover:

"Hi Mith,

I bought this last winter meaning to learn OE by immersion (like I said in the PM) but I didn't. So now, it's yours xD

-Amy (from a-e)

P.S. Merry Holidays"

When I read that I just broke down in tears.

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I sent a condolence card out to her family along with a few other names on it from memebers half the people here probably don't even remember when we heard the news a month or so ago. So if there's people here cracking jokes or just seeming cynical, it's because we've already known for a while and it's not as shocking as it was back then. I really doubt they'd come back here to say anything, but a lot of older faces have been popping up now that a thread has been made. It's obvious a lot of people are still in shock and are touchy about it since it seems like it just happened, but I'll apologize for that and be on my way.

It's sad, and I'm sorry she died the way she did, but at the same time I'm not going to pretend I knew her. Apparently I didn't know the same person most of you here did, I only knew her after she turned or whatever, as Keira already pointed out, when she was on cam4 shooting up dope and asking for people's money with her cloths off. She didn't seem to care about her life at that point, so it's just hard for me to say any words of sympathy since I didn't know what she was like before.

But, one of us died. That sucks. And as heartless as this post might sound, as I said before, a bunch of us did send a card out basically saying we were friends of Amy's that knew her online and we're very sorry to see that she passed away, to her family. That's what counts.

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I honestly thought she was just to busy being happy in college to get online anymore. :( I thought she was doing so good and now I find out I had no idea what was really going on... I wish I could have helped. I never would have thought it could happen to someone so sweet.

It's sad, and I'm sorry she died the way she did, but at the same time I'm not going to pretend I knew her. Apparently I didn't know the same person most of you here did, I only knew her after she turned or whatever, as Keira already pointed out, when she was on cam4 shooting up dope and asking for people's money with her cloths off. She didn't seem to care about her life at that point, so it's just hard for me to say any words of sympathy since I didn't know what she was like before.

My best friend of 14 years almost died of an OD last week. I fucking hate dope. That wasn't Amy. That was a disease. I haven't been here though so I had no idea about any of that either.

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So people knew ahead of time?..wow way to make me look like an idiot...

You're never on AIM anymore, and I don't think you're friends with some of us on facebook. So I can imagine why you didn't.

It's just weird how most of us from the old VG chats found out about this before people who kept in touch with her did. Already mentioned, but still strange! But I don't remember who came to us about it originally. We just grouped together to send cards out at that point. I know someone sent cards to her sister too, but it wasn't me because I didn't even know she had a sister. That's how well some of us knew Amy.

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You're never on AIM anymore, and I don't think you're friends with some of us on facebook. So I can imagine why you didn't.

It's just weird how most of us from the old VG chats found out about this before people who kept in touch with her did. Already mentioned, but still strange! But I don't remember who came to us about it originally. We just grouped together to send cards out at that point. I know someone sent cards to her sister too, but it wasn't me because I didn't even know she had a sister. That's how well some of us knew Amy.

Mike.. I added you as a friend via facebook through another member.. I sent a friend request a long time ago like 6 months ago..and I will admit I'm not on AIM as much, and the same as the Skype chats.. I respect that you guys did that and you know if I had of known back then I would have helped in the best way possible, no matter what.

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I'll admit, as good as a person as I try to be..I'm not good at this stuff either, I'll admit.. I'm kinda afraid of my own and everyone elses mortality around me, but who isn't..jus ask certain people...but long story short....thanks for being a great friend to me Amy...you were awesome to me in soo many ways:)..take care

Brian.

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I'm not going to pretend that Amy was someone I knew really well or even that I've really been a part of this community for the last four years, but I'm sad all the same.

The things this board loved about Amy were things that don't go away with her mental deterioration or even with her passing. I came here because of the Facebook e-mail and the very first thing that came to mind was one of Amy's jokes about...god, Full Metal Alchemist, I think. And I remember at the time thinking "Man, I really want to talk about this seriously, but Amy has the whole thread joking with her!"

I think it took several years, until tonight, that I realized that's who Amy is and why she was important here. She was fun. She was funny. She didn't care if being serious was what was appropriate, she wanted to be herself.

Even if that's not who she was all the time, that's who I'll remember. In my mind, she had an eternal smile and I hope that's just as true today.

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Amy was humble, but she was also really smart.

Heh.

This was one of the best and most frustrating parts about Amy.

She was absolutely brilliant at times when you could finally get her to post beyond "I think everyone should hug xD" posts. She rivaled the best minds on this board when you got her to finally choose to do so.

One of the many tragedies about this is that she'll never get a chance to fulfill that potential that I am absolutely sure she had. She went down a dark path, but it could have been different, and the death of her potential alongside everything else about her is deeply saddening.

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Amy really had a combination of intelligence and whimsy that made these boards feel like a home to me. There was just a life in my interactions with her that felt irrepressible and full of the joy of emotional and intellectual exploration. I really just wish I hadn't faded away and had tried harder to be there for her in the last couple of years.

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ADN asked me to post this since her account got wiped when AE went to shit a year ago.

Receiving the news of Amy's passing has been tremendously upsetting. While we were not very close, I would gladly have called her my friend. We had spoke only a few times but I remember those conversations very well, they were about us sharing the same taste in music most of the time. It's so hard to even imagine she's gone now. A few months ago Amy had sent me a message over AIM, but I was out at the time and did not get it until she was logged off.

It is sad that most of us just probably brush these things off, knowing that we'll just message or call them again when they're available. I'll never get to talk to her now and it pains me greatly. I do hope that wherever she may be now, that she has found peace.

I have sent out a letter of condolence to her grandmother, and urge everyone else to do the same. If you can't afford one, there has been a facebook group set up by her friends and family. It is there so you may post your memories and condolences there.

We all still have our memories of Amy and those are things that can never be taken away. Even though Amy is gone from this world, she will always be remembered in our hearts.

RIP Amy. I will never ever forget you.

Your friend, always,

- Ally.

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Baltar - thanks for sending out that facebook message, I had no idea. This was shocking, my condolences to everyone.

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