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Accelerated Evolution

A story of love slashed suddenly at the source.


Kyoudai

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It all started one day in early December. I had played the MMORPG Final Fantasy XI alot, but I had quit the game at this point. But a friend of mine told me there was a girl in the game that went by the name of Nakaruru.

This might require an explenation if you don't know me. Nakoruru is a character from SNK's fighting game series "Samurai Shodown" or "Samurai Spirits" in Japan. This is a character that I've had a huge crush on for years, ever since the first Samurai Shodown hit the states back in 1993. She is my favorite video game female ever, of course I'd want to talk to the person playing this character.

I'm too upset to retrace every single happy memory I have with Nakaruru, but basicly, we talked, and we hit it off great right away. No one RPs in FFXI, but the way I opened the conversation made her respond "in character" so I followed suit, and for several days we talked to each other in character, it was great fun.

I'll get to the point since this is all probably boring you. Eventually we talked to eachother for real and found out how much we had in common. It was ALOT. Weird stuff too, like our dogs have the same name, and we have the same number of brothers and sisters. But more than that, we had all the same interests. We played together for months, and eventually fell in love. We set up for us to meet at her house (she still lives with her parents, and she's not a kid, she's 25, I'm 24.) and we did.

The meeting went wonderful, and I was sad to leave her. From then on we made plans for me to move down there, and eventually, when a few things fell into place, it happened. I lived down there in an apartment near her and worked with her at Walmart for several months. It was wonderful, we really loved eachother. We played video games, watched anime together, and mostly just played FFXI. We never really even had a fight. We both thought we were perfect for eachother, and eventually, we wanted to make plans for marriage.

After living down there for almost 10 months, it was decided that I couldn't get a decent enough job there, and I tried looking, so I would move back home and start up the foundations for our life together by landing a better job and such.

She seemed very sad after I left, she took the seperation harder than I did, it seemed. And I couldn't stand being away from her. Then, just 5 days after I got home (which is earlier today), she said "Grrr, BRB My father wants us to have a "talk" :P " And she was gone for over 2 hours.

When she came back, she asked if there was any one around me, and if there was, to ask them to leave, because "we have to talk."

Needless to say, I was scared. And rightfully so. Her father talked to her, and said that he did not approve of me, because I was not a good provider. He thought it was best if we never see eachother again. And she considers her father her pillar of strength, pretty much, so she was convinced. Just like that she went from "I miss you" to "Goodbye."

She said for me to go back to my friends, tell them how much I hate her, and go on with my life just like I had never met her.

If anyone bothered to read all that, tell me what you think. This isn't like your average internet relationship, because I made the move to go down there with her. And everything was awesome, we got along so well, I know we were in love. But as soon as I leave to go on ahead and prepare us for a life together, her father says to leave me behind and never see me again.

I'm crushed and hurt and wondering how much she really loved me at all. I know the feelings we had for those 10 months we were together in real life meant something. It hurts that she can cast it all away withing a few minutes like that.

Well, anyway, thats my story.

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That is a load of crap(not what you said, but what she did). She obviously didn't feel as strongly for you as you did for her if she was so easily persuaded by her father.

I say to move on and forget about her(or you know...don't hate her, but look on your memories together with fondness). :O

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Yes, she is very attached to what her father says. She always did say that she wouldn't agree to marry me until he agreed to let me. But I guess he didn't say to stop seeing me until now. And just like that, she casts me out of her life. She's already taken me off her friendslist in FFXI, not that it matters because I can't play the game anymore anyway, too many memories with her.

I won't try to contact her. That would make me seem pathetic and desperate, neither of which would help my case. If she comes crawling back to me, which I very much doubt, of course I would take her back, but thats because I seriously love her. I'm not a kid, this isn't puppy love. But it doesn't matter anymore.

All I can do it try and move on. But I won't be seeking out any more girls any time soon. These wounds slashed into my heart run deep, and will take much time to heal.

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I'm really worried about how much influence her father has on her man, I mean, you're both in your mid-twenties and the moment her father says "don't see him, he can't provide for you" she cuts off all ties. It sounds like they have a rather tight, overprotective grip on her that they don't likely see is going to cause to her to essentially wilt as a person.

I know I'm a hopeless romantic and (despite my cynicism) optimist, but seeing how much you care for each other and how much you strove to provide for her financially and emotionally, I'm hoping somehow she gets back in touch with you and you can overcome the obsticals set in your path.

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That's exactly how I feel. This isn't a matter of "get over her and move on." I probably didn't properly express it, but this girl was so perfect for me. We were so alike it was scary. I can't imagine ever being happy with a normal girl who likes normal girl stuff anymore. This girl loved video games and anime, we had so many happy memories together. I keep seeing things that I brought home from when I was with her that are things she gave me... and well, I lose it again, becuase they all show so much love for me. It HAS to work out... This can't be the end. If it is, what was it all for?

Thats why I cant believe she could just turn around that suddenly and cold heartedly cast me out of her life like that. Its as if I didn't mean anything to her at all. She never did like to talk about her feelings even when we were together, so I sure as hell don't know what she's feeling now. Is she happy and relieved? Or is she lonely and sad? I don't know if I'll ever know. All I know is how I feel, and that can't be properly described right now. I've never known a feeling such as this before.

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That sucks, man. Getting dumped sucks enough when it's the other person's idea. When it's not even they're direct idea it must be even worse.

However, I think there's more at work here than is obvious. First of all, her father probably seriously talked to her for a long time beforehand. So I wouldn't say she's callously leaving you, especially if she seemed to like being with you as much as you said.

My advice would be to let things cool down for a little while. Always helps in these situations. Just don't do anything about it for a little bit. Then, slowly, start thinking about what you can do to deal with the problem, whether that means moving on or trying to contact her again.

Basically, don't make any big decisions RIGHT NOW. Because right now you're probably really fucked up by getting thrown off the Relationship Train. So don't say "I WON'T EVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN," but also don't show up at her house with a giant sign that says "COME BACK TO MEEE!"

But that really, really sucks.

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I agree with Wind. I wouldn't give up on it just yet, especially with the way you feel about her. You should prove to her father that you can be a provider and not let his word dominate her feelings. But you know, she may just be having a female moment (like she's scared) and there's nothing you can do about that. But even if things don't work out, even a girl that seems perfect can do something so unexpected, that you realize they weren't really perfect for you in the first place. I hope things work out for the best though man.

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I think that does sound like the best idea. I don't want to do anything drastic or anything to seem desperate or pathetic. But in all the time we were together, all the time we shared, she was woven so closely into my life that all I see around me are things that remind me of her.

Ever since I first visited her the first time we met in real life, I've worn this ring that she gave me right before I got on the plane to come back home. It was a ring that she always wore, and was very important to her. Its a small silver ring that is engraved with the words "True love waits", showing that she would wait until marriage for sex, and ideal that I very much agree with and respect. As soon as I got home I bought a chain and have worn it around my neck every single day since. Last night as I took it off to sleep, I held it in my hand was didn't know what I should do. Should I wear it still? Should I sent it back to her? Should I just set it aside? I didn't really know. But I decided to wear it still anyway. Because I still believe in everything the ring stands for, and all the feelings and memories I've had while wearing it.

Long ago when we really started to fall in love, but were still far apart, she sent me a small plush kitten. Her character in FFXI is a mithra, which is a catgirl. She said it was my own little Naka to have when she couldn't be there with me. Ever since I got it, the kitten has sat on top of my monitor and watched over me. I can't bear to move it. It also has too many feelings attached to it.

And there are so many other little things that hold some amount of sentamental value because she gave them to me. I can't look at any of them without remembering her and everything we had and everything I thought the future was sure to hold for us. But even though looking at all these things hurts me so much now, I can't get rid of them, I can't just accept that its over. I don't feel like there is anyway it can really be over just like that. It was so quick and cold, she changed in a few hours from loving me and missing me to never wanting to see or talk to me again.

Does this thought process of holding onto things she gave me seem at all unhealthy? I feel like I'm in a state of denial now or something. I don't know, I've never felt the way I do about her for any other person ever, and thats why her sudden act of coldheartedly cutting me away from her life forever really ripped out my heart. I can't help but think that because she's tried to cut off as many ways of contact possible, that maybe she's afraid that if she keeps seeing me, or things that remind her of me, she'll start to miss me and change her mind. So she's trying to prevent that. But that's only my wishful thinking.

And I have no idea what she's feeling now, or how she's feeling about what she did. But I know thats exactly how she wants it.

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That sucks, man. Getting dumped sucks enough when it's the other person's idea. When it's not even they're direct idea it must be even worse.

However, I think there's more at work here than is obvious. First of all, her father probably seriously talked to her for a long time beforehand. So I wouldn't say she's callously leaving you, especially if she seemed to like being with you as much as you said.

My advice would be to let things cool down for a little while. Always helps in these situations. Just don't do anything about it for a little bit. Then, slowly, start thinking about what you can do to deal with the problem, whether that means moving on or trying to contact her again.

Basically, don't make any big decisions RIGHT NOW. Because right now you're probably really fucked up by getting thrown off the Relationship Train. So don't say "I WON'T EVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN," but also don't show up at her house with a giant sign that says "COME BACK TO MEEE!"

But that really, really sucks.

after careful examination, i've come to the conclusion that this is probably the most logical dude on the forum. you should take his advice

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So this is where you have been for all this time, for some time, I thought you were maybe dead or something.

Anyways, this girl needs a wake up call, and the answer is a bit too obvious: get her out of that house. I'm not too sure what your education is, but finding a good job and proving that you are a good provider to her father is the long and hard way about the situation, but you could also convince her to actually get out of the house and get a real life instead of clinging to her parents for moral and emotional support.

It is not at all healthy to live with your parents for longer than intended (past 22 is pushing it), and it will seriously start to weigh on her descisions the longer she stays. I am pretty much striking it out on my own after I get my degree in August, and I'm 20; the reason being is that I can feel my opinions being manipulated by the stranglehold my parents have on my life. If you can make her realize that she is basically living through her parents approval, then you may have a chance there.

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Her dad is a pastor, and would prolly hate me, so be glad you never invited me over there

~.^

but seriously, her dad is a pastor, and they are the worst dads for letting their girls go.

but you know I'm yer friend, and I have been in situations like this before (though not like this.)

you know you can talk to me when you need someone to annoy.

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I wish I could give her a wake up call. But she's gone to such lengths to cut off all ways of contact I might have with her. Its like she doesn't want to ever see me again. And its all so sudden I don't know what to think of it.

I don't think she would listen to me at all if I did contact her. I have a feeling she holds her fathers opinion pretty high because he said that I wasn't worthy of her and he doesn't approve and that was enough for her to throw away a year and a half worth of time spent together, a year and a have of memories, and a year and a half of developed relationship all in less than 5 minutes.

If I could contact her... I don't know what I would say. What do you say to the woman who loved you with all her heart one minute, then just cuts you out of her life completely the next?

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I can't argue with that. That was very cold of her. The fact that she was able to cast out me, and everything we shared in the past so suddenly really bothers me. It fills my mind with doubts about everything we were. I find the less I think about it the better, but its not like something this major and this soul shattering likes to stay in the back of your mind.

If I didn't have such great friends who actually seem to care about me, then I would be alot worse of a mental state than I am right now.

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Its good that you aren't freaking out, I'm proud of you, taking it like a man. I think it best to just let it be, she threw away a good thing, Hell man, you gave up your life to do everything with her and bend to her will (my words) and just treat you like that, I don't care who you are or who your father is, that's no excuse for being a cunt.

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If I didn't have such great friends who actually seem to care about me, then I would be alot worse of a mental state than I am right now.

I know i'm late, but so sorry to hear this. I was so happy for you when you first met her, so i'm very dissapointed with this whole situation as well.

You need to talk, vent, whatever, I'm here.

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