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Accelerated Evolution

Stupid people


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Once, at the community college, myself and one of my instructors are walking through the parking lot when we see a car full of nursing students with a flat tire. He and I get down and start changing the tire for them. When we remove the tire, two of the nurses examine it. One of them, I fucking shit you not, swear on a stack of Motorhead albums, didn't understand why the tire was flat on the bottom when the puncture hole was on top of the tire.

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Your school either has low standards or she was a blonde.

I manage an electronics store. I have thousands. Most of them going something like:

"How many Heckahertz is the harddrive!?! And how much storage does the processor have?"

Oh, and:

"Do you have a sun powered flashkight?"

"You mean a flashlight with a solar battery?"

"No, no. I want it to run off the sun!"

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When I was watching Apollo 13 my roomate slightly confused asks me "How are they breathing in space?". After the look of confusion washed from my face I asked him calmly "What do you mean, there is oxygen in the cabin?" His reply was very simpily " But, there is no gravity and doesn't oxygen make gravity?" I was completly fucking stuned!

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A guy I know said some stupid things today. First he was trying to convince my friend Evan that you could air lift a battle ship from the Caspian Sea to the Mediterranian. He first suggested a plane. Then a load of planes chained together. Then missles chained to the boat. And he expected to air lift it STRAIGHT out of the water and then literally just release it directly over the Mediterranian. Evan flipped out and there was a long debate and it was settled that they would use the tractor beam of the U.S.S. Enterprise.........

He also just walked up behind me in the hall and asked me which Super Hero I would eat if I had to eat one...

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A classic iat my school:

One of our friends, let's call him "Colin" for now, looks mildly asian. Another of our friends, let's call her "Kamaria" goes up to him and says, word for word, "So are you like Taiwan or something?"

2 years later we still don't let it go.

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I was at work once and I saw this kid and his parents walking along. Anyways, this other guy comes at them and pushes the kid out of the way to get trough. More like an elbow shub than a push. Anyways, the parents turn around and are all like

Parents: excuse me!

Guy: Yeah, your kid pushed me.

Everyone: Blank stare

XD It was great. The guy had the balls to say that the little kid which must've been like 12 years old or 10 pushed him.

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Another really stupid thing I heard was a white nationalist basically saying, "if the aryan race wasn't dying out, how come there are more brown haired people than blonde haired!"


I don't how they can feel so passionatley about genes and everything when they don't even understand basic biology.

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Ok... here's an interesting story. Not necessarily about stupid people... just really sheltered people.

For my Social Problems class this week, we were supposed to write about the MOST deviant act we were caught in at one point in our life. Then we annonymously turned in the papers and traded them through the class and classified how these people who's papers we were reading were deviant.

The one I got... I kid you not (summarized):

One night, me and my mom were watching the movie Titanic. We finished the movie and I took it out and set it on the couch next to me, so I would remember to take it upstairs to its case later. But my mom sat down on it and broke my copy of Titanic!

So I went to my friend's house and we were hanging out... and my friend went downstairs to talk to her mom or something. I saw she had a copy of Titanic on her bookcase, so I grabbed it and put it in my bag. She NEVER lets me borrow her DVDs, so I knew I had to take it.

So my friend comes back in the room and we continue to hang out. For some reason, she looks in my bag and sees her copy of Titanic in there! So she starts yelling at me saying I stole it! But I wasn't going to steal it! I was just going to burn it to my computer and give it back! And then she said that joyriding is just as big a crime as stealing was! I gave it back to her and I had to spend money to get my own copy of Titanic.

So yeah... that's how ALOT of them were in my class. Or alot of... my mom caught me smoking a cigarette. My mom caught me drinking type stuff. It's just kind of crazy what kids at the "biggest party school in America" think as deviant behavior.

PS. "I burned the eggs in the freezer"

Umm... freezer burn.

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